Leave And Cleave: Remaining One Flesh With Your Spouse by Apostle Emmanuel Iren: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Choose Both Spiritually and Logically

Ladies, if anyone comes to you and says "God said you are my wife" — ask them: "Okay, that's God. What do you say?" God chose me. What about you? It is not God I'm getting married to — I want you to choose me too.

David had two reasons to fight Goliath. What he said to Saul was different from what he said to Goliath. Before Saul, he gave a logical reason: "I have killed a lion and a bear." Before Goliath, he gave a spiritual reason: "I come against you in the name of the Lord of hosts." You can have both a spiritual and a logical conviction behind your decisions. Don't choose someone only on spiritual grounds and then when things go wrong say "it was not my choice — it's the woman you gave me." That's what Adam did.

Marriage Is a Step of Faith — Own the Decision

Even if you get supernatural confirmation — doves flying over your head — that supernatural confirmation will not absorb the responsibility of growing emotionally and learning all you need to learn. Own your decision. Then love that person the rest of your life.

Most of us are afraid because we expect perfection. Even the right person will offend you from time to time. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Rebuke the fear. Move forward.

Spiritual Genius Is Context Specific

You can be deeply spiritual and have zero emotional intelligence. You can know how to run a church and not know how to lead a home. The muscles you exercise are the ones that grow strong.

One of the most important things to practise now — while single — is loving difficult people. Start with the difficult parent who will not change. That is your training ground for winter seasons in marriage. Loving only those who are easy to love is not preparation for covenant.

The Wisdom of Mentors and Counsellors

Titus 2:3-4: Older women should instruct younger women. Older men and younger men — Jesus Christ. Schedule accountability sessions with a couple you respect — not just when things are hard, but as a regular practice. Every seven months or so, just touch base.

Some things only experience will teach you. When a wise older person speaks into your life, it is as if they have a word of knowledge — because they have been exactly where you are, and they can see the patterns you can't yet see.

Do not make any major decision in your life without talking to someone. The right people, the right wisdom, at the right time — it will open doors and spare you years of unnecessary pain.

Marry Someone You Can Also Suffer With

Don't choose for now — choose for the future. In sickness and in health. Down times in marriage are real. Money can develop wings. God forbid — but it happens. Anyone you would not feel safe with in a vulnerable state, think carefully.

And do not just marry Mr or Miss Potential. Marry a person's track record of good decision making. A man who has never been a follower should not be a leader — you might be unintentionally abusive because you don't know what submission feels like.