Love Out Of Season by Apostle Emmanuel Iren: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Love Out of Season

The most important ingredient for a marriage that will be happy is the ability to love out of season. Just as Paul told Timothy to preach the gospel "in season and out of season," those in ministry know there are times you feel like it and times you don't. And God often moves most powerfully on the days you feel Him the least. The same principle applies in marriage.

If you only love when you feel like loving, you are not loving the Bible way.

Marriage Is a Covenant, Not a Contract

A contract is an exchange of goods, services, or obligations. A covenant is a union of persons. The difference:

• A contract is conditional on performance — if one party fails, it can be terminated. A covenant says: if you fail, I am committed. We fix this together.
• A contract joins interests. A covenant joins lives.
• A contract protects assets. A covenant shares everything.

Genesis 2:24: "Two shall become one flesh." It is God who joins a man to his wife. The government gives the certificate; God joins the lives. And you cannot move into the shortlet of God's design and start repainting the walls. He is the author — His design stands.

Every Marriage Has Seasons

Both good homes and bad homes have bad times. A good home is not one devoid of quarrels. Research shows that most marriages — including happy ones — go through a crisis point between years five and seven. If you survive that phase, the marriage will very likely last forever.

What matters is how you repair. The psychologist John Gottman studied thousands of marriages and found that the differentiator was not the absence of conflict — it was the speed and sincerity of repair.

• How fast do you get back to each other after a disagreement?
• Can you fight gracefully — without threats, ultimatums, or permanent damage?
• When someone says "I don't want to talk about it now" — the wise response is: "What do you need from me in the meantime?"

Compatibility Beyond Hobbies

Many people make marriage decisions based on how the person treats them when things are going fine. True compatibility is deeper — it shows up in:

• Financial compatibility — Do you both prioritise similarly? One who lives for delayed gratification and one who enjoys immediately will collide.
• Conflict-resolution style — Some need to talk through things; others need silence to process. Learning this early prevents years of misunderstanding.
• Emotional repair capacity — Practice loving difficult people now. Start with the difficult parent you can't change. That is your training ground.

Covenantal Love — The Deeper Standard

Matthew 5:46-47: "If you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?" There must be a difference in the quality and consistency of a believer's love. You have a God who loved you while you were yet a sinner. What excuse will you give Him about your spouse?

Marriage covenant is deeper than transaction. Anything that was the original reason you got married — beauty, money, status — can change. Marry someone you can suffer with, not just enjoy. And learn to separate the things that are non-negotiable from the many things that are simply different preferences. Buy 15 chargers. Settle the small things so the marriage can breathe.

When you see it as a covenant, you stop entertaining the exit — and that determination changes everything.