How To Deal With Grief And Loss - Part 8 by Pastor Dolapo Lawal: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Prayer and Confession: The Final Point

The final point in dealing with grief and loss is prayer and confession. This is why this series ends where it does — not in theory, but in turning to God directly.

There is something striking about the story of Job: most of his complaints were directed to God. God is unquestionable — and yet people asked him questions in the Bible, and he gave them answers. Rather than trying to use your mind to get answers, or becoming offended at God, the right move is to take the questions, the pain, and the offense directly to God — and allow him to answer.

In prayer, I take my pain to Jesus. I don't hold it or run away from Jesus.

The Bible says the government shall be upon his shoulders — meaning he wants to carry what is crushing you. Don't put it on your head. When load is placed on your head, you stop thinking clearly. You stop reasoning properly. And pain becomes a perspective in itself — a dense lens that distorts everything.

Pain Becomes a Theology

Once you begin validating your pain and offense toward God, life will seem to confirm it. New evidence will surface that appears to justify your distorted view. That is the nature of the lying spirit — it always has confirmation for its lies to make them look like truth.

• Once you buy a new car, you start seeing it everywhere.
• Once a theology forms around your pain, life begins to amplify it.

This is why murmuring to people is not the answer. Instead, go to God. Cry before God. The Bible says he takes tears and puts them in a bottle — they are not wasted.

Hezekiah, when Isaiah told him he would die, turned to God in prayer and wept. And the Lord told Isaiah: "Go and tell Hezekiah that I have added 15 more years to his life." That is what prayer in this season can do.

The Ministry of Jesus to the Brokenhearted

Pray Luke 4:18. The Spirit of the Lord is upon him because he has anointed him — to heal the brokenhearted. This is one of the listed ministries of Jesus.

When someone's heart is broken, it is far more serious than it sounds. An external wound is visible; people can tell something is wrong. But an internal wound — like internal bleeding — can be invisible. The person looks fine. Everything seems okay. But inside, they are dying.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. A broken heart produces a distorted life. A discoloured life. And there is a level of brokenheartedness that therapy alone cannot reach. Talking alone cannot heal it. There is a spiritual dimension where the owner of the heart is the only one who knows how to fix it.

Healing the brokenhearted is one of the ministries of the Messiah — because the brokenhearted cannot heal themselves.

People die and commit suicide from emotional pain. The inward pain is often more destructive than any external suffering. Depression has been described as entering a downward tunnel where the more you shout for help, the deeper you go — as though nobody understands. But God understands.

Healing from losing a loved one is a spiritual thing. It is not intellectual. It is a spiritual thing.

God will find a way — through a pastor, through his word, through a direct deposit of truth — to expose you to the body of truth that will comfort your heart. It has to be a spiritual word, directed toward you, for the mending of the heart.

Confession and Declaration

Alongside prayer, make declarations. Speak the word of God over yourself in this season:

Though sorrow may last for a night, joy is coming in the morning.

Death and the fear of death has no hold on me.

He is close to the brokenhearted. He is healing my broken heart. He is changing my perspective about this pain.

In the name of Jesus, I am free from the fear of death and the sting of it.

The resurrection power of Jesus quickens life in my mortal body and in my mind. I see hope. I see a transition — not an end — in death.

Speaking the word of God to yourself is how you experience the redemptive power of Jesus, especially in grief.

Father, I pray that God will heal your broken hearts. He will bless your hearts. He will comfort you. He will lead your hearts in peace.

The Bible says to be anxious for nothing — but in everything, with prayer and supplication, to make requests known. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will garrison your hearts and minds in Christ.

I pray that God's peace will flood your heart. That God will communicate with you and put peace in you.

Do you feel barren? Do you feel helpless? Sing — for God inhabits the praises of his people. I pray that God will use your mouth in this season to declare words of comfort for you and for family members and loved ones around you experiencing grief and loss.

The Bible says: with the comfort we have received, we are able to comfort others. So I pray that even in this pain, God will bring out a ministry. A ministry that helps. A ministry that comforts. A ministry that encourages.

Though sorrow may last for a night, joy comes in the morning. I declare over your life that your joy has come.

Affliction will not rise a second time. Every affliction has ended. Every spirit attacking your joy and peace — they are not able to perform their enterprise against you.

Anyone after your life, anyone after your joy — they stumble and fall. You are discerning. You will not fall for their trap.

Everything ministered and all the prayers prayed here are answered in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.