How To Deal With Grief And Loss Part 4 by Pastor Dolapo Lawal: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Death as Transition, Not Termination

Death must be seen by a believer as a transitioning from this fallen world into the fulfillment of God's promise. No matter how enjoyable life in this world may be — the cars, the money, the experiences — it is not God's best. There is still limitation here. Freedom in this life exists within a context. But the glorified body that awaits believers will be truly free in the freedom that Jesus gives.

Jesus, with his glorified body, walked through walls. He ascended into heaven right before the disciples. Ephesians 4:10 — the same one who descended is the one who ascended on high and gave gifts to men. That same glorified body also ate fish with the disciples. A beautiful reality awaits.

No matter how much is being enjoyed in this life, what God has in store is better.

Even the gift of the Holy Spirit received in this earth is only a portion of what awaits. It is only in death that believers experience the fullness of the gift of the person of the Holy Spirit. Not merely the gifts of the Spirit, but the fullness of the Spirit himself. He is referred to as the Arabon in Hebrew — a deposit, a down payment.

• Ephesians 1:13-14 — the Spirit as the guarantee of the inheritance
• 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 — God has sealed believers and given the Spirit as a deposit
• 2 Corinthians 5:5 — the Spirit as a guarantee of what is to come
• Revelation 21:1-4 — the final union, the new creation

The Holy Spirit in this life is like an engagement ring — a symbol and guarantee of the final union in heaven.

What awaits every believer:

• A glorified, immortal body
• A body that walks through walls and cannot be sick or weak
• Peace and tranquility
• Joy and justice

How to Deal with Grief and Loss

1. Do Not Suppress Your Emotions

The first thing not to do is suppress emotions. John 11:35 — Jesus wept. Faced with the death of his friend Lazarus, Jesus wept even though he knew he was about to perform a miracle. In doing so, he validated the human pain of loss.

Hebrews 4:15 — there is no high priest who cannot sympathize with weaknesses. Jesus was tempted in all points as we are, yet without sin.

Hebrews 2:9 — Jesus was made a little lower than the angels — the word there is Elohim — speaking of his humanity in the face of the suffering of death. By the grace of God, he tasted death for everyone.

In Matthew 26, Jesus said: "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death." He then called three disciples and asked them to stay with him and pray. That does not sound like a positive affirmation. It sounds like someone being honest about their emotions. And yet — do not miss this — even with how Jesus felt, he went to pray about it.

Job is another example. He lost his children, his business, his friends, and much more. But there was one thing Job never did: he never stopped talking to God about it. He murmured. He complained. But he kept talking to God.

That is what grief calls for — go to God with it.

• Go to God and ask the hard questions: Why did my mother die? I prayed. I fasted. I declared in faith. I had a prayer chain. This person served you faithfully. Why did they die?
• Talk with people you trust — a pastor, a friend who knows the Lord.
• God is unquestionable in sovereignty, but he can be approached as a Father with questions.

The answers a pastor or teacher can give are only premises and principles — they can point toward God, but they cannot give what only God can give. The one who can truly answer, speak to the heart, and mend what is broken is God himself.