Youniversity Part 6 by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Why Self-Knowledge Matters

Studying yourself is not optional — it is the only way to maximise your life. Life is essentially about two things: maximising your strengths and managing your weaknesses. Every successful person has done the former; every person who has derailed has failed to do the latter. Samson is the clearest biblical example: his strength was extraordinary, but an unmanaged weakness brought the whole thing down.

Beyond personal development, understanding temperament helps in relationships, hiring, and marriage. It makes it easier to read people, understand them, and relate to them effectively.

The Four Temperaments

The Popular Sanguine

The sanguine is curious, fun-loving, people-oriented, and enthusiastic. They have loud voices, colourful personalities, and make friends instantly. They are risk-takers and convincers — the kind of person who makes any room more alive.

• Strengths: They love people, tell great stories, thrive in activity, and are highly persuasive.
• Weaknesses: They are disorganised, talk too much, can't say no, get bored easily, and jump from project to project.
• As a leader: They are big-picture thinkers who ensure everyone on the team is having fun and feels supported.

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• Best careers: Marketing, fashion, sports, public relations, customer service, entertainment, comedy, preaching, emceeing.

The Powerful Choleric

The choleric is decisive — infuriatingly so. They know what to do at all times. They want to lead, they take leadership whether given or not, and they are results-driven in every area of life.

• Strengths: They don't give up, are fearless and courageous, are great problem-solvers, delegate well, and never complain — they act.
• Weaknesses: They find it hard to relax, make decisions on behalf of others without asking, and are not sympathetic. They are too competitive, prioritise results over people, and have high expectations that can feel impossible to meet.
• As a leader: They keep a group's focus on track and do not let feelings get in the way of achieving results.
• Best careers: Management, technology, engineering, programming, politics, business ownership, law.

The Peaceful Phlegmatic

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Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo

David's Christian Centre, Lagos (DCC).

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The phlegmatic is easygoing, quiet, and steady. They prefer to blend in, value relationships above almost everything, and are motivated by helping others rather than by money. They are loyal and excellent listeners.

• Strengths: Steady, reliable, calm, witty in a dry and understated way. They have few enemies because they are diplomatic to a fault and make people feel comfortable.
• Weaknesses: They dislike change, avoid conflict at all costs, can be very stubborn when pushed, and are hard to get moving because they are laid-back — and can be lazy.
• As a leader: The most relationship-oriented of all types, they motivate teams by focusing on helping others rather than directing them.
• Best careers: Nursing, teaching, psychology, counselling, charity work, human and social services, child development.

The Perfect Melancholy

The melancholy is private, organised, and idealistic. They love charts, to-do lists, and long-range planning. They are deep thinkers with a natural inclination toward beauty, art, and precision.

• Strengths: Analytical, organised, good planners, deep thinkers, they love artistic beauty and follow through on assignments.
• Weaknesses: Perfectionism means they rarely take steps because they want everything ideal before starting. They tend toward loner behaviour, are hard to please, are hard on themselves, and are prone to pessimism and moodiness.

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• As a leader: They keep everything in order and ensure things are done decently.
• Best careers: Accounting, administration, research, music, medicine, surgery, social work, invention.

No Temperament Is Bad

God gave all four temperaments because all four are needed. The sanguine brings joy, fun and warmth. The choleric drives results and keeps the group moving. The phlegmatic provides stability and peace. The melancholy brings order and excellence. Each temperament's strength is another's weakness — which is exactly why they need each other.

The reason one temperament cannot carry all the strengths is structurally impossible — like asking one car to be the best SUV and the best sports car simultaneously. The SUV's height is strength in mud and flood, but a liability at high-speed corners. Each vehicle excels where the other cannot.

Most people have a primary and a secondary temperament. The blend shapes behaviour significantly. Sanguine-Melancholy combinations produce musicians with both charisma and lyrical depth. Choleric-Phlegmatic pairings often work well in marriage because one leads and the other follows without resentment.

Opposites Usually Attract in Marriage

Sanguines often marry melancholies because the sanguine's chaos is attracted to the melancholy's order — and the melancholy's moodiness is attracted to the sanguine's joy. Cholerics often marry phlegmatics because leaders are drawn to those who follow without contesting authority. When two cholerics marry, the struggle for leadership is constant. Understanding this is not about accepting poor behaviour — it's about building structures that compensate for what each person cannot naturally supply.

How to Tackle Temperament Weaknesses

1. Identify your weaknesses

   You cannot deal with what you have not named. List the natural tendencies that come with your temperament. If you are sanguine: disorganisation, scattered focus, inability to say no. If phlegmatic: passivity, laziness, indecisiveness. If choleric: impatience, insensitivity, control. If melancholy: perfectionism, isolation, pessimism. Once they are named, they can no longer catch you by surprise.

2. Put structures in place

   Knowing a weakness is only the beginning — the next step is building structures to compensate. If you are phlegmatic and laid-back, partner with motivated people. If you are sanguine and poor at managing money, put a melancholy or phlegmatic in charge of the finances. Hire around your weaknesses. For example, personally hiring cholerics and melancholics has proven effective — the choleric pushes the vision forward and the melancholy organises everything. The laziest person on a team cannot also be the position that goes unfilled by someone else.

3. Yield to the Holy Spirit

   The fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22 directly addresses each temperament's weakest point. Love addresses the choleric's people problem. Joy addresses the melancholy's gloom. Peace addresses the sanguine's restlessness. Long-suffering addresses the choleric's impatience. Gentleness addresses the choleric again. Faithfulness addresses the sanguine and the choleric especially. Meekness addresses those who are loudest. Self-control is the overarching gift that makes all others possible. Your temperament is not an excuse — the Holy Spirit gives the ability to counter your natural weakness.

4. Have people who can speak into your life

   Never reach a place where everyone around you is afraid to correct you. Every great person still has coaches, mentors and pastors — people who can see what you cannot see in yourself, and who will tell you the truth even when it is uncomfortable. Not all criticism is an attack. Some of it is free counsel. Use it.