Why Marry Series by Pastor Sam Adeyemi: Sermon Notes

The Battle Over Marriage

Deciding who to marry is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life — a decision that will affect not only you but your generations after you. You will spend most of your life with this person. Together you will bring the next generation into this world.

There are so many forces seeking to shape our thinking and shape our values about marriage, influencing us without us being conscious of what is going on. People underestimate the impact of the things they see and hear consistently over time. Those things enter their hearts and shape their values, their perspectives, and ultimately their decisions.

It is information — in-formation — it is forming you inside whether you are conscious of it or not.

Satan is out to destroy the family unit, the unit that God creatively established. Take religion out of it — research has proven it: children develop better in two-parent homes. Those who don't are more vulnerable to crime. God wants people who are spiritually developed, psychologically balanced, emotionally balanced, people who feel a sense of security from childhood. But Satan wants to redefine everything — redefine the concept of marriage.

Psalm 11:3 says if the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do? When Satan wants to destroy society, he doesn't cut leaves — he goes from the root.

Those of us who are citizens of God's kingdom need to have that sense of responsibility. It is not just about doing what everybody else is doing — it is about establishing God's purposes on this planet.

I observe people getting married at later ages while at the same time people are starting to have sex much earlier. Satan wants to separate the two. One of the major reasons in the Bible why you should marry is so you can have sex without guilt.

Preparing for the Wedding

The starting point is: you need to be guided by the spirit of God. You need to be led by God. You need to pray. Abraham's servant prayed. He had gone to the place where young ladies would come to fetch water — you need to position yourself, go where they can see you and where you can see who you need to see, both physically and digitally. But before they came, he prayed.

Genesis 24:12–14 — then he said, "O Lord God of my master Abraham, please give me success this day and show kindness to my master Abraham. Behold, here I stand by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, 'Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink' — let her be the one you have appointed for your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master."

Get to know the other person as much as possible. Pray and get people close to you to pray for you. Inform your spiritual leaders and let them pray along with you — apart from the fact that they usually have information you don't have about people around.

Say What You Saw

When you are convinced — this is the person — the next step is to say it. Usually we expect that it is the man who will launch the proposal. Say what you saw. Some people say it directly without mincing words: "The moment I saw you — or we have been friends for a while — I just know it in my heart, you are the one. I have prayed about it and I am absolutely certain this is what God wants. I would like to marry you. Will you marry me?"

Don't hang around hoping she will pick the cues. Someone I know was just hanging around — coming over again and again, having long discussions. She enjoyed his company but didn't know he was up to anything. Then somebody else came, proposed, prayed, she said yes. And when she told her friend who had been coming all the while, he was shocked. She said, "I didn't know you had any ideas."

There is no point beating about the bush. If you want to kill the animal, hit it on the head.

Is it okay for a lady to tell the guy? Is there anywhere in the Bible that says a lady can't? A lot of the time it is better for it to be the man who says it, because men become suspicious when they are being chased. They like to eat meat they chased in the bush — they don't like the one that falls on their laps. But sometimes all the signs are there that he has received it, he's just not speaking. And sometimes it is not healthy emotionally for the lady for him to be behaving as if but not saying anything.