The Communion And Your Relationship by Rev. Christie Bature: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

The communion

The holy communion is a powerful representation of what Jesus did for us when he died. We come to that table in faith.

It is not the body of Jesus we are eating or his blood we are drinking, but it is a representation

Everything that was efficacious in Jesus is contained in the communion. As you partake, ask God for what is lacking, what is missing. Ask him to fix what is broken

What communion means

I asked God how to connect communion and relationships. He told me to look up the definition of communion in the dictionary

Interestingly, in a secular dictionary the first thing said about communion is the holy communion, the body of Christ

The first definitions are about church: the Eucharist, the bread and wine, and a group of people with a common religious faith, like the Catholic, Anglican or Methodist communion

Then association and fellowship. Then the interchange or sharing of thoughts and emotions, intimate communication

Then communion with nature. Then sharing or holding something in common, the act of participation

Take time and enjoy nature. On my night walk I saw two things by the road that looked like stones. They were baby rabbits, sitting and looking at each other, not scared of me.

It brought a smile to my face

Don't be so hung up on making money, the job or studying. Come out in the evening when the sun is setting and look at the sky

Communion was demonstrated before it became church

Before communion became something we do in church, God demonstrated it in the Godhead. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are distinct but united, different in function but one in purpose.

They communicate, honor, give, receive, submit and work together

If we were created in God's image, healthy relationship is not an optional extra to our Christianity. We were created for communion

Illustration: the conference of 50,000 women

I came from Nigeria to attend a conference with 50,000 women from all over the world.

There was so much power and so much presence of God, but I felt the most lonely among 50,000 women. I did not know a single person

When something powerful was said, the ones who knew each other turned and smiled and gave a high five. I looked straight ahead.

It was a powerful conference but I was not enjoying it, because I was not in communion with anybody

We were designed for relationships. When we are not in relationship, we sense something is missing. When there is a breakdown in a relationship, we are in a worse place

Why does it hurt so bad when you fall out with a sibling who has annoyed you for 20 years? We were created for communion

4 things every healthy relationship requires

1. Association and fellowship
2. Sharing of thoughts and emotions
3. Holding something in common, building something together
4. Participation

You can be married and have very little communion. I counseled a couple and asked them to score themselves on these. Association and fellowship, both below 50%.

Sharing thoughts and emotions, below 50%. Building something together, below 50%

On participation the wife said 70% and the husband said 28%. It was still a fail

Evaluate yourself. If you scored yourself on these parameters and would not pass, you are not in communion, you are just in the same space.

You can live in the same house without genuinely sharing your life with somebody. So many secrets. One of the things breaking the man down was a secret his wife had

Related by blood with no fellowship

I know brothers and sisters who have not spoken for 30 years, and when you check what caused the quarrel, you wonder how that can be the reason. Some die like that

One of my mother's sisters was quarreling with their only brother, thinking she had time. He dropped dead. She came crying, "I wasn't speaking to him. I didn't know he would die so soon"

Who knows when the other person will die? In the past two months I have lost three pastors who were very close to me.

I have not found the words to speak to their wives, so I haven't called. I cannot use the excuse that I am not around, because there is a phone

Same church with no participation

You can attend the same church and have no meaningful participation in one another's lives. You come to church, and once it is over you are gone. You contribute nothing.

You don't ask who has issues you can help with because it would be too much trouble

Illustration: the woman on the culvert

One day I saw a woman sitting on the culvert at the junction near my house, looking distressed.

The Holy Spirit said, "Stop and help her." I said, "If I stop, this woman will put all her life's problems on me." I kept driving

I came back a few hours later and she was dead. She had fallen there. You could see she had scraped the ground with her nails when death came.

For months the guilt would not leave me. Every time I passed there I felt judged and condemned

A few months later I saw something moving on the road. I thought it was a goat. It was a crippled woman, stuck in a crouched position, naked, her body full of massive sores.

She could only move crouched

I saw her every evening going in my direction. The Lord said, "Take care of her." I said, "Father, remember the one that died." I started buying food and feeding her every evening.

She snatched the food and threw away the spoon and ate with her hands

I brought a dress and cut it short so it would not drag on the ground. The next day she was naked. She would not let any dress stay on her.

I asked her name and she said, "Oluchi." When I asked where she was from, she became hostile, so I stopped asking

As I kept feeding her, the wounds began to close up. She was healing because she was getting nourished

One day it had rained and I could not find her. God said, "Go back to the rubbish dump." I found a huge puddle inside the garbage dump, and Oluchi was inside it.

She could not raise herself up

The Holy Spirit said, "Lift her up." I was not a cheerful giver. I said, "Lord, I don't have gloves, and what will people say?"

He said, "I am sending you. Lift her up or she will die in the water"

I lifted her up very grudgingly, shouting at her, "Why did you come to this place? What are you looking for inside the dump?"

You can be in the same church and have no meaningful participation in anybody's life. You are just a number. You are not a participant. You have no effect

If you left church, who would cry? Who would miss you? Who would say, "I wish he was here, I wish she was here"?

To singles: if you don't learn communion before marriage, a wedding will not automatically teach it to you. Marriage intensifies relationship. It does not magically create relationship skills

The first picture of communion is God himself

Genesis 1:26

God said us, not me. He was speaking to the Godhead. Creation begins with a picture of divine cooperation

People who say, "I don't need anybody, I'm okay all by myself" are working against their creation and will always feel something is missing

1. Difference does not have to produce division

   There is oneness without sameness. Unity does not require uniformity

   The Father is not the Son, the Son is not the Spirit, the Spirit is not the Father. Yet scripture presents them as one God acting in perfect unity.

   You and I can have relationships of unity if we model it after God

   Many relationships become difficult because we unconsciously define unity as "you must think like me, respond like me, if you loved me you would see this thing the way I see it."

   We don't have the same eyes. We see from different perspectives and angles. That is not a measure of love

   We are different, but it does not have to divide us. We can learn to walk with the differences. Different does not mean one is bad and the other good.

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   Rev. Christie Bature

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   It is like saying being female is bad and being male is good. It is not good or bad. It is just different

   I run a rehab center and we deal with all kinds of addictions, not just substance abuse. Men with sexual addiction, including serial adultery, come to me.

   At a point I say, "I can't help you beyond this point. I'm transferring your care to a male." They say, "But you are the one I want to talk to"

   I tell them there are certain struggles only a man will understand. There is nothing wrong with me or my knowledge, but we are different.

   So I respect that and send the person to get the proper help he needs for that aspect of his recovery

2. Build something together

   Genesis 1:26

   God did not simply say let us be together. He said make. There is a shared purpose.

   Many relationships are founded with no shared purpose. There is no vision for the relationship, for being married, for having children. We just do it because that is how the world is wired

   When you get to a certain age you marry, then you have children, then you grow old, then you die. That is all we think

   We don't attach purpose to the things we do that are critical

   Communion is not merely enjoying one another. It is building something together

   Part of the reason relationships fall apart is that they are not building anything together. So when trials come, there is nothing holding them together

   There is nothing they are looking to, to say, "No, because of this I can't let this go."

   If there is something at stake, you will fight. If there is nothing at stake, you will give up

   It is not only about marriage. Think of siblings, church, business. What are we building?

   Enumerate your relationships and apply these principles and see if you are complying. If you are not, start now. It is never too late

   Married people, what are you building together? It is not simply which house we are buying, which area, which school zone, which vacation. What kind of family are we building? What values are we establishing?

   A young man welcomed me in the Yoruba tradition. I was shocked, in America. Somebody is teaching this boy values of honor and respect.

   It tells me what kind of family his family is building

   My children are in the UK. I am having a family meeting with them. Are we complying with the values we said we were pursuing, or have we deviated?

   What do we need to take out, add or improve now that all of you are grown?

   What spiritual heritage are you creating? What are we contributing to God's kingdom together? That boy has been told it is important to contribute your quota to any system you are part of

   What are you contributing to the family you belong to? Are you the one over whom tears are shed, tears of pain, shame, regret, fear?

   Or are you the one around whom everyone rallies, the strong one, the kind one, the supportive one?

   In the office, somebody is always bringing coffee and donuts. You have never asked who supplies it. You just take.

   When will you buy once and bring? Even if it gets duplicated, let them eat a different type of donut

   You cannot be part of a system and contribute nothing and say you are part of it

   Jesus washed the disciples' feet, and Peter refused John 13:8. What was Jesus saying? If we belong, then I must serve you. If I don't serve you, then we don't belong

   What service are you bringing to the systems you belong to?

   In your class at school, do you join the disruptive children because you want to belong? What are you contributing?

   To singles

   Are you building relationships around purpose or merely around convenience? "He says he is a Christian and he prays. He lets me do whatever I want. He is very supportive. He doesn't argue."

   You are building around somebody you can control, not somebody who can challenge you to do better

   Are your relationships building your faith or draining your faith?

   Hezekiah

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   Many kings before Hezekiah lived carelessly. On the first day of the first month, Hezekiah cleared the fake altars 2 Chronicles 29:17

   From day one he told people who he was and which God he would serve.

   When you enter a new environment, if you don't establish your identity, people will establish it for you, and it becomes harder tomorrow to say, "Actually, I'm a Christian"

   From day one on campus, you have to define who you are, otherwise people will give you an identity

   Illustration: Bethany at university

   My daughter Bethany started university at 16.

   She called me and said children keep coming to convince her to smoke weed. She told them no. They asked how old she was and she said 17.

   They said, "Your parents can't tell you what to do. Just try this. It will make you sharp." She said she did not want to. Every day a different group came

   After the first semester exams, most of the ones who were vehemently convincing her failed and were asked to withdraw. The ones who passed were still coming to convince her.

   She said, "I already saw the effect of it. Why do you think I want to do it?"

   Young people, what are you building your life around? What values are controlling you?

   Are your friendships building your faith? Are the people closest to you helping you become who God called you to be?

3. Honor without competition

   The Trinity shows us honor without competition. The members of the Godhead deliberately honor one another

   John 8:54, John 17:4, John 16:13-14

   The Father honors the Son. The Son glorifies the Father. The Spirit glorifies the Son. Nobody is scrambling for the spotlight

   That is another thing that gets in the way of relationships. Husbands and wives compete with one another. You compete with others at church and in the office, but your job description is different.

   Why are you worried about them when your work is different? Why do you have to be the one winning it all the time?

   I am not saying winning is wrong, but when it becomes the focus, you are doing eye service. You are not actually serving. You want to be seen, noticed, rewarded, applauded

   Healthy communion asks, "How can I honor you?"

   Hebrews 13:4

   We read it and think it only means the person is not committing adultery. No, it is honorable first, before the bed is undefiled.

   Everyone should approach the relationship with the intention to honor the other. What I bring ahead of me is honor

   If we approached relationships like that, we would not have as many problems as we have

   If my intent is to honor you, I won't cheat on you. I won't force you to do anything you don't want. I won't speak destructive words, I will speak words that build up.

   If my intent is to honor my colleague, I will not undermine them before the boss. If my intent is to bring joy to a classroom, I will not bring factions

   Unhealthy relationships continually ask, "When will you recognize me? When will they notice that I'm here? I've been cleaning this church for two weeks and nobody has said anything."

   Who are you cleaning it for? The people of the Lord

   A woman was being beaten to the point of death. People told her to leave before she is killed.

   She said, "I cannot leave all my years of labor. Somebody will come and cream off all my years of labor." I told her two things are going on

   Number one, somebody will come and cream off the same man who has not changed. She will not only get the money, she will get the abuse, because it is the same man

   Number two, you think your reward will come from man. Your reward is with God

   If I have labored with him and he is treating me this way and pushing me out, I will leave to stay alive.

   The same God who built us up when I was with him can build me up when I am alone

   Imagine marriages where husbands and wives became intentional about honoring one another. Imagine friendships where friends celebrated rather than competed. Imagine churches where ministers were not threatened by one another's gifts.

   Imagine families where siblings were not continually compared

   Communion cannot flourish where competition dominates

Leave communion

At creation God says "let us make." In the Trinity we see Father, Son and Spirit distinct but one. Jesus prayed that they may be one John 17:21

As we take the communion, don't just take communion, leave communion. Leave it in your marriage, your friendships, with your children, with your parents, in church

At the table we celebrate one bread, one body, one covenant 1 Corinthians 10:17. When we leave the table, we are called to live communion

Don't only take communion in church. We have communion elements at home and break bread at home. Nobody said it must only be once a month.

You can do it every day, every week, as a family

If opposition comes at your family, break bread. If fear is threatening your family, break bread.

If finances are failing, break bread, because his body was broken so that everything that disturbs us loses its power

Taking the communion

Some hearts are heavy and for some, Christianity has become drudgery. It is no longer exciting or interesting. Take the communion, break bread and say:

Psalm 51:12

If your body is sick or broken anywhere, take the communion and say:

Healing is the children's bread Matthew 15:26, and you are eating the body of Jesus. Appropriate the communion

The bread

The wine

His blood was poured out so that ours will not be spilled

His body was broken and his blood was shed to make us the sons of God Isaiah 53:4-5