My Biggest Regret In 30 Years Of Ministry by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

My biggest regret in 30 years of ministry

Celebrating 30 years of pastoral ministry and clocking 50 this year forces you to think back

There have been good moments, hard moments, bad moments, regrets and tough seasons. There are people who offended us and people we offended

One of my biggest regrets is that I did not start helping couples and singles to get married early

Now I'm 50, after 30 years, I see a lot of people in my church, especially the female folk

They have served faithfully, good Christian girls, and they have still not found a husband

The men have a little advantage because they can get married almost at any time when they are ready

We could have been more proactive in assisting them, in helping them connect

This is a global issue. Any genuine pastor that is really pastoring will tell you it's a problem

I'm one of the most traveled pastors in Nigeria

Almost every pastor tells me the same thing: loads of ladies in their churches that are serious with the Lord, good natured, good behavior, but no husband

It pains the heart of any well-meaning pastor. I see those ladies in churches all over the world as we go and preach

At some point you do feel they got the short end of the stick. You feel that maybe if they were in the world they would have gotten married

We assist with everything except marriage

When people look for jobs, we assist them. When people are looking for children, there's IVF and we assist them

It's only when it comes to marriage that we leave everything and expect it to happen miraculously

Yes, sometimes it does happen miraculously, but doing what we can would also help

There are many cultures where they assist people to find husband or wife. We've done a few already that have been successful

I'm very proactive about it now. I'm trying to help everybody I come across, because time is a tricky thing

You will go from having so much time to having no time

Before you realize it you are passing the age and it becomes more and more difficult for both male and female

A little counsel, a little praying for, a little holding the hand of somebody and recommending somebody has shown its benefit

I have a lot of daughters like that, very faithful, very beautiful, good behavior, but somehow they've not been able to find somebody to marry. We can't allow these people just struggle

Mentor to Marry is an answer to that

Christian does not mean free

Some people have an issue with the platform not being free. That is very weird thinking

It is more of a mentoring site than a dating site

On dating sites it's an all-comers affair. Some people go there just to look for people to sleep with

Like in a class, when you are being mentored you can see other people being mentored as well. That's the added flavor, but it's about helping and mentoring you

Most people in developed countries are on dating sites and they pay. It's a normal standard thing

It's a proper, professionally run organization, not a church service and not part of my pastoral duties. Everything going on in my church is free

Some people find it hard that pastors are bi-vocational. They think if you are a pastor, everything you do must be free. No

It's Christian based, but that does not mean we do not have the normal overheads organizations have

All the coaches are paid. A whole army of people are on salary to keep it running. It's not a business in that regard, but there are overheads

Same way Christian universities are not free and Bible schools are not free. Even the Bible, you go to a bookshop and you pay

Just because it's Christian doesn't mean it has to be free. There's overhead attached to it

If you are applying to get married, you can't be looking for free, because marriage is going to cost you still

Some of these ladies not getting married are having to freeze their eggs. Just research how much it costs, it's an annual payment from what I heard

It's not uncommon for there to be a fee attached to this quality of service. It's like a school, so it's definitely not free

There's nothing really free in life. Somebody somewhere is working to make that thing come to you as a service