Light Over Darkness by Pastor Philip Olubakin: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Kingdom Manners

Before going into the sermon, it is important to establish what is expected of a kingdom citizen — what can be called kingdom manners. These are not church rules; they are kingdom culture.

1. Speak Truth in Love

   Ephesians 4:15 — Speaking the truth in love, we grow up in all things into him who is the head. The first kingdom manner is to speak truth without apology but with love.

   Colossians 4:6 — Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how to answer every person. In the NLT: let your conversation be gracious. In the CEV: be pleasant.

   Truth without love is brutality. You do not soften the truth to the point of lying — but you also do not wield it like a sword to pierce and kill. Look at how Jesus spoke to the woman at the Samaritan well. She had five husbands. Yet his approach was not accusation but encounter. Speak in a way that holds the interest of your hearers. There is a way to speak and you cut your listener off at the first word. Choose your words. Make your truth accessible.

   Proverbs 27:6 — Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are nothing but lies. You can trust a friend who corrects you. Correction is an act of love. Flattery that hides truth is a form of enmity.

2. Forgive Immediately Without Waiting for an Apology

   Matthew 6:14-15 — If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father forgive you.

   Forgiveness is commanded. Friendship is not commanded. You do not have to put yourself back in a space of vulnerability to someone who keeps hurting you. But you cannot hold them to your heart. Forgive early. Forgive quickly.

   What does it mean to forgive? It means that even if you are not talking to the person, you will not hold back anything that could benefit them. You are not acting based on the offense.

   If you offend someone, you also cannot gaslight them or blackmail them into forgiving you immediately. Forgiveness is their obligation before God, not your entitlement to demand.

3. Give Quietly Without Announcement

   Be generous in giving but do not give in a way that draws attention to yourself. It is not kingdom manner to post your giving for applause. Give and let God reward. Do not practice your righteousness before men in order to be seen.

4. Serve Without Status

   John 13:4-15 — Jesus, knowing who he was and where he came from, took a towel and washed feet. He said: if I your Lord have done this, you also should do for one another.

   Galatians 5:13 — Serve one another humbly. Every kingdom citizen has an assignment in the house of God. Find where you can contribute. You are never too big to serve in the house of God.

5. Honor

   Honor is a kingdom culture — not just in church but everywhere. Honor your clients. Honor your customers. Speak with respect even when speaking truth to power. Address issues, not persons. Even when you speak against corrupt leadership, speak honorably. There is a way to be pleasant and still be clear.

6. Do Not Gossip

   Proverbs 6:16-19 — There are seven things the Lord hates, and a person who sows discord among brothers is among them. Gossip destroys friendship. Proverbs 16:28 — A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates even the best of friends.

   2 Corinthians 12:20 — Paul feared he would find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior. He called gossip disorderly behavior — a mark of carnality.

   If someone comes to you trying to say something negative about a third party, offer to call that person into the conversation. If they won't allow it, that is your signal: what is being poured into you is trash. Keep your trash can covered.

The Church Is Built for Combat

Matthew 16:18 — I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

The gates of hell are defensive. The church is offensive. We are advancing. The church is not a nursery. It is a place where soldiers are raised, armed, and sent out.

We are offensive in two senses: we are advancing, and we will not be liked by everyone. If you need to be liked and applauded by all, you cannot fulfill God's plan for your life. The truth offends, the light exposes, and the advance of the kingdom of God creates friction with the darkness.

There are many gates to engage — the gate of entertainment, the gate of finance, the gate of politics. The devil started early. He demonised wealth deliberately so that Christians would not want to have it, and so that gates of influence would be left unoccupied. The church must engage these gates, not retreat from them.