Fruitfulness In Marraige (family) by Pastor Dolapo Lawal: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Marriage did not emerge from culture, sociology, or human experiment. It originated from God. Before there was society, before sin entered, before the church, before tribes or civilization — God had already instituted marriage. That means marriage precedes culture. Culture responds to marriage. It does not define it.

Genesis 2:18

Since marriage is a divine invention, it is not anthropological — it is theological. And God's intention for marriage is not companionship alone. If companionship were the only goal, a dog would suffice. There is a design that goes far deeper, and many long marriages have still failed to fulfill it. Being married for 40 years while raising children who are not saved is a failed marriage in the sight of God, because the primary purpose was never addressed.

Marriage is supposed to make pastors out of parents. God's mind for marriage is purposeful, not just happy.

The Original Mandate: Image, Blessing, and Commission

Genesis 1:26–28

Hebrews 1:3

2 Corinthians 4:4

Colossians 1:15

When God said "Let us make man in our image," the image He was referring to was Christ. The word tselem in Hebrew does not mean physical form — God had no physical form in Genesis 1. The image of God, as the New Testament makes clear, is Christ. So when he said let us make man in our image, what God had in mind was Christ. Genesis 1 is not only the story of creation — it is also the typology of the new creation.

Then God blessed them. That blessing is the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 3:13–14

Isaiah 44:3

Ephesians 1:3, 13

The blessing that came upon Abraham and was transferred through Isaac to Jacob was not material wealth — Esau inherited the properties and became richer by earthly measure. What Jacob carried was capacity for fellowship with God. The only person God spoke to in that narrative was the one carrying the blessing. That blessing is the Holy Spirit — what gives capacity to comprehend, to commune, and to be in relationship with God.

Then He said: Be fruitful and multiply.

Genesis 1:21–24

Matthew 28:18–20

Genesis 1:28 and the Great Commission in Matthew 28 are the same mandate, revealed at two different stages of redemptive history.

• "Be fruitful and multiply" corresponds to "Go and make disciples of all nations" — no longer through biology alone, but through spiritual reproduction
• "Fill the earth and subdue it" corresponds to "Teaching them to observe all things I have commanded you" — bringing cultures and thinking under the lordship of Christ
• "And God blessed them" corresponds to "Lo, I am with you always" — the restored presence of God through the Holy Spirit

Because of sin, humanity lost moral alignment — but not the mandate. The assignment remained, but the ability to fulfill it was damaged. Jesus restores both the mandate and the family in Matthew 28.

The first and primary reason for marriage is evangelism — not evangelism as an office, but as a posture. Marriage is the context God designed to produce disciples.

Animals multiply after their kind. Man, made in the image of God — in the image of Christ — multiplies after that kind. So the fruitfulness and multiplication mandate operates in two dimensions:

1. Reproduction — raising children who know and walk with God
2. Representation — the family as a congregation of disciples with parents as pastors

Genesis 18:19

Deuteronomy 4:9

Deuteronomy 6:6–7

Exodus 12:26

Psalm 145:4

Ephesians 6:4

God expects the family to function first as a church. If anyone is planning to get married, they are planning for ministry. God assigns children to specific parents because he has weighed both and concluded that those parents are the best people to disciple them. That child's primary pastor is their parent — not the church pastor. When parents abdicate that responsibility, they deprive the child of a blessing God specifically designed for them.

Three Reasons God Gave Us the Gift of Family

1. To teach us how He loves us as His children.

   A parent does not work to love their child. The child earns nothing, contributes nothing — and yet the love is constant, unconditional, and deepens with time. That is a picture of how God loves. The prodigal son is still called son. The father runs to meet him. Understanding this through the experience of parenting rewires how God's love is received — not as something to earn, but as something to inhabit.

   The more a parent invests in a child, the more the love grows. God, who has invested everything in His people, loves with the same compounding intensity.

2. To show us Christ and His sacrifice.

   John 16:21

   A woman sheds blood to bring life into the world. A man sheds blood — in circumcision — as a covenant sign of belonging and responsibility for the family's continuity.

   Genesis 17:10–15

   Luke 22:20

   You may also like

   

   Serpentine Manifestations Against Families

   by Pastor Jerry Eze

   arrow_forward

   Jesus fulfills both. He travailed like a mother — bearing the pain of the cross for the joy of the new creation being born into the family of God. And he sealed the covenant like a father — not with circumcision blood, but with the blood of the new covenant, shed once and for all. He is both the mother who travailed and the father who sealed the covenant with his blood to beget and secure his people.

   Every sacrifice a parent makes for their family is a reminder of what Christ went through. The pain does not exist to be complained about — it exists to be recognized as a reflection of the gospel.

3. To help us see things from His perspective — as providers and disciplinarians, not just recipients.

   When children ask for things that would harm them, a parent says no. That no is not rejection — it is protection. Every parent who has said "not now," "wait," or "sit down" to a child has begun to understand why God says the same. The child interprets the no as withholding. The parent knows it is wisdom.

   Exodus 4:22

   Hebrews 12:6

   God chastises Israel because Israel is His firstborn. Chastisement is not punishment from an enemy — it is discipline from a father. Parenthood reframes the experience of being under God's authority. It becomes intelligible in a way it could not be from the position of a child alone.

The Expression of Fruitfulness: The Fruit of the Spirit in Marriage

Galatians 5:22–23

Colossians 1:10

Fruitfulness in marriage is not only about mandate and representation. It is also about the practical expression of divine character — the Holy Spirit reproducing the life of Christ within the believer, and that life becoming visible in how the marriage is conducted.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

When reading these verses, the instinct is to apply them to the other person — measuring how well the spouse is fulfilling each characteristic. That is a misreading. Paul is addressing the reader. Love suffers long means the reader is to suffer long. Love is kind means the reader is to be kind.

One of the major reasons marriages collapse is selfishness — reading the Bible for what to get rather than what to become.

Sarapaka Pope's article in the New York Times, cited by Tim Keller, captures the cultural shift precisely: for centuries, marriage was viewed as an economic and social institution — the survival of the marriage took priority over individual satisfaction. In modern times, marriage has been reframed entirely around personal fulfillment. "Marriage used to be about us. Now it's about me." That shift is why divorce rates in the church mirror the world.

The question "what do I want in a spouse?" needs to be reoriented entirely to: "What do I want to be for my spouse?"

Tim Keller, reflecting on his own marriage, observed that the initial thrill of holding his wife's hand before they were married was less about genuine love for her and more about the flattery of being chosen by someone he admired. As C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters: much of what humans call love is really hunger — an ego seeking to fill its emptiness. When someone's attention satisfies that emptiness, the satisfaction of pride is mistaken for love.

A Practical Warning: Words Damage Permanently

One of the most destructive forces in marriage is resentment, and resentment most often enters through words that cannot be taken back.

James summarizes piety as the ability to control the mouth. A person who has not learned to govern their speech has not learned Christ — regardless of how much they serve in church or how gifted they appear. The sharpest mouths in a marriage are often the most defended: "I just say my mind." That instinct is not honesty. It is unprocessed selfishness presenting itself as directness.

A harsh word spoken in a moment of anger can remain active in a marriage for years after the argument is resolved. Forgiveness is possible — damage to trust and intimacy is a separate matter, and it heals more slowly. Speaking carelessly about a spouse's body, their failures, their worth, or their value in the marriage is not something that can be casually undone with an apology.

James 3:2–6

Anyone who cannot sit with unspoken words — who must always get it out — has not yet allowed the Spirit to produce self-control. That lack of self-control, carried into marriage, will do damage that outlasts the argument that provoked it.

One Final Principle: Love Is Action Under Pressure

Love is not demonstrated in comfortable moments. Love is demonstrated in how a person treats their spouse when they are angry.

God is angry with sin. He still came and died for sinners. That is the standard marriage is being held to — not sentimental love, not love based on what the other person deserves, but the love that acts rightly even when it has every reason not to.

A fruitful marriage will manifest the fruit of the Spirit — not as a feeling, but as a daily decision to bear with, to serve, to protect, and to speak truth without destroying. The fruit takes time to grow. It requires the presence of the Spirit. And it requires two people who are willing to be changed by the process.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7