Family Matters: The Believer And Gold 3 by Pastor Dolapo Lawal: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Family Is a Divine Institution

Family was not a human invention or a cultural development. God established it before anything else. Genesis 2:24: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

The fall happened in Genesis 3. Family therefore pre-existed sin, pre-existed the fall, pre-existed government, and pre-existed the church. In fact, the church is God's response to the breakdown of the original family structure — when the family unit collapsed, God started a new family through the church. Family is God's design even in the state of perfect righteousness.

The original ideal family was Adam, Eve, and God — showing that the human being God created has two dimensions of relationship: vertical (with God as Father) and horizontal (with fellow image-bearers). This dual structure is reflected in Hebrews 12:14: "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord." Peace with people and holiness with God are inseparable.

Matthew 25:36-40 shows the weight God places on how we treat other human beings: "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." And inasmuch as you did not — you did not do it unto him. God has chosen to tabernacle in people. How you treat any person is how you are treating God.

Family Reflects the Nature of God

Ephesians 3:14-15: "For this cause I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named." The Trinity itself — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit — models covenant relationship, distinct roles, and perfect unity. Every family on earth derives its name and its essential nature from the God who designed it.

Family Is Covenant

Family is connected by blood, and covenants are sealed by blood. Adam's declaration in Genesis 2:23 — "This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh" — was not poetry. It was covenant language. The blood of Jesus, which brings the church together as one family, is explicitly called a covenant in Luke 22:20: "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is shed for you."

Hebrews 2:11: "For both he that sanctifieth and they who are sanctified are all of one: for which cause he is not ashamed to call them brethren." Jesus is not ashamed to call us brethren — because we are joined by his blood. Our family should not be something we are ashamed of either.

How the Spirit-Filled Life Shows Up in Family

In Ephesians 5:18-22, the moment Paul addresses being filled with the spirit — speaking in psalms, giving thanks, submitting to one another — he immediately moves into the instructions for husbands, wives, children, and parents. The way to test whether someone is genuinely filled with the spirit is to observe them in the context of family. Spiritual fullness manifests first at home.

This same pattern appears in Colossians 3:18 and Titus 2:4-5, and in 1 Peter 3:7: "Husbands, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." There is a way a husband can treat his wife that will give him an active prayer life that produces nothing — because the prayers are hindered at the source. Right conduct at home is not separate from spiritual effectiveness. It is the test of it.

God's Design for How Children Honor Parents

2 Timothy 3:1-5 lists the signs of the last times: disobedience to parents, unthankfulness, and unholiness are explicitly named among the characteristics of the end of the age. This is not incidental — God included it in his warnings about the final season.

Your parents are your first pastors. The advice they give is many times based on words God spoke to them when they received you. In Luke 1:13-17, God told Zechariah that the child to be born — John — would come in the spirit and power of Elijah. Yet John 10:41 records that John performed no signs in his entire ministry. One possibility is that the full scope of what he carried was spoken over him through his parents, not revealed directly to him — and what he did not walk in, remained unclaimed.

Jesus himself, in Luke 2:51-52, was subject to his parents: "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." God in human form submitted to earthly parents. That submission was not loss — it was growth.

Why Honoring Parents Is Not Optional

1. It is among the Ten Commandments — Exodus 20: "Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." Out of everything God could have placed among the ten, he included this. Its presence there marks it as something God considers foundational.
2. Dishonoring will not go unpunished — Proverbs 30:17: "The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it." Leviticus 20:9: "For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death." Even an imperfect parent carries a God-given authority. Dishonoring it opens a person to consequences they may not be able to undo.
3. It is the only commandment with a promise — Deuteronomy 5: "Honour thy father and thy mother... that thy days may be long, and that it may be well with thee." Longevity and wellbeing are both attached to this obedience. Honoring parents creates a legal ground in heaven — God's word gives him the basis to preserve and prosper that person's life.

1 Timothy 5:1: "Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Treat older women as you would your mother." Honoring older people is part of the same spirit — scripture commands it, not culture. Leviticus 19:32: "Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God." Standing in the presence of an elder is a biblical act, not merely a cultural one.

What Parents Speak Carries Power

Genesis 49:3-4: Jacob declared over Reuben — "Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel" — because of what Reuben had done against him. That word shaped Reuben's lineage. It was only lifted in Deuteronomy 33:6 when Moses the prophet said: "Let Reuben live and not die; and let not his men be few." A parental declaration carries power that outlasts the parent — and may need a prophetic word of comparable weight to reverse it.

Jacob — who deceived his father Isaac to receive the blessing in Genesis 27 — placed enormous value on parental blessing. He went to great lengths to obtain it, knowing that what a father speaks over a child carries genuine weight in the spirit.

In 1 Kings 11:9-13, God told Solomon that because of his sin, the kingdom would be torn from him — but not in his days: "For David thy father's sake." The blessing David had accumulated created a covering that delayed the consequences of Solomon's own sin. That same covering, however, became a source of harm to Solomon's son Rehoboam, who in 2 Chronicles 10 found himself unable to receive sound counsel. The ecosystem around him had shifted because of what had been pronounced in the previous generation. Parental patterns — for good or for ill — shape the ecosystem a child inherits.

What This Means for the Family as a Whole

Not every member of a family moves at the same pace or level. There may be a Joseph in a family — one who rises to carry, support, and sustain the others. If that person is you, remember: you are not the only star. The others are stars too — they bow before you in this season, but their calling is not lesser.

Joseph was not raised up and anointed for his own glory. He was deployed to preserve Israel. His anointing was purposefully larger than himself — it was meant to extend to Judah and the entire family. The person who is currently being supported must not envy the one God has raised. Focus on your own star. Calling is not measured by who is currently prominent — it is measured by what God purposed before time.

God's Warnings and Expectations for Parents

Ephesians 6:4: "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Colossians 3:21: "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."

A father's absence or misuse of his role has measurable, documented consequences. Children from fatherless homes have significantly higher rates of dropout, incarceration, substance abuse, and suicide than children raised with present, engaged fathers. The father's influence — for good or for harm — reaches further than most men realize.

What you model as a parent is what you teach. A father who sits idle models idleness. A mother who refuses to contribute models non-contribution. What parents demonstrate as the pattern of life becomes the blueprint the next generation builds from — unless that pattern is consciously broken.

Father, in the name of Jesus — let every child under your care live and not die. Every genetic disorder, reversed. Every health pattern inherited from the generations, reversed. Every cycle of instability and fruitless effort — it stops here. We are the seed of the blessed of the Lord, and our offspring with us, in Jesus' name. Amen.

In my house, we love the Lord. In my house, we serve the Lord. In my house, we are committed to the gospel. My children will know the Lord deeper than I do. They will be stronger in the faith. Everything that proceeds out of me is for Jesus — in the name of Jesus.