E-motions Part 1: Meet Your Emotions by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Why Emotions Matter

Many people have never fully paid attention to their emotions — some don't even know the Bible talks about emotions. But emotions are a very vital part of your being, and you will never fully maximise your life without mastering them.

In Mark 12:28-30, a scribe asked Jesus: "Which is the first commandment of all?" And Jesus answered: "Hear, O Israel. The Lord our God is one Lord. And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength."

Love is partly emotional and partly a choice — they walk together. Notice what Jesus said:

• All thy heart — the spirit man
• All thy soul — the emotional part
• All thy mind — the will
• All thy strength — the actions

Jesus included the emotional part because you cannot express love without feeling. Coming to church involves all of those things — it is not just ritual; it is the whole person.

The word emotion simply means feelings — anything you feel. And the Bible is loaded with emotions. Ephesians 4:26 says: "Be angry and sin not." God is saying: you will feel the emotion of anger — don't let it move you to the action of anger. Feeling the emotion of anger is not bad; it is natural and normal. The action of anger is what becomes the problem. The Bible also says: "Rejoice evermore." That is an emotion. "Rejoice with those who rejoice." That is an emotion. God addresses emotion throughout Scripture.

What Your Emotions Are

Every human being is made up of three parts: spirit, soul, and body.

• Your spirit is like your SIM card — your connection to the network (God). Without it, the whole phone is useless.
• Your body is the handset — the hardware the SIM card goes into.
• Your soul — where your emotions live — is like all the apps on the phone. WhatsApp, Instagram — those are your emotions. That is how important emotions are. Without them you cannot express feeling.

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Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo

David's Christian Centre, Lagos (DCC).

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The Two Extremes to Avoid

1. Living entirely by your feelings. These are people whose feelings are their god. Whatever they feel, they do. The slogan of this extreme is: "If it feels good, do it." This is where much of the confusion in the world is born from — the idea that feelings alone determine identity and action. You are not called to live just by your feelings.
2. Totally ignoring your feelings. These people pride themselves on always saying what is on their mind regardless of how others feel. They use it as an excuse to be rude, callous, and insensitive. Their spouse or family feel emotionally neglected. They shut down their emotions completely.

The right thing is the balance. Emotions are important — meet them, understand them, and manage them.

Five Things to Know About Your Emotions

1. Emotions Are Real But Not Always True

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   At the time you are feeling something, you are genuinely feeling it — it is real. But it is not necessarily true. Someone may feel like divorcing their spouse — that feeling is real but it may not reflect what they actually want. Someone may feel "I wish I didn't have these children" in a moment of frustration — the feeling is real, but they don't actually want to throw their kids away. Don't confuse the two. Just because your feelings are real doesn't mean they are true.

   Elijah was so tired he said, "I'm not doing this anymore." God wasn't done with him — he just felt done. Many times in life feelings of frustration arise. The feeling of anger is different from the action of anger. Don't act it out.

2. Feelings Are Real But Not Necessarily You

   There are times you will feel: "I'm a failure. I'm useless. I'm a big fool." But failure is an event, not a person. You may have failed at something — it doesn't make you a failure. You may not feel righteous — but that doesn't change the fact that if you are born again, you are the righteousness of God in Christ. Don't confuse the feelings of failure with who you are.

3. Feelings Are Real But They Are Not Final

   Feelings can change. Many people treat their feelings as if they are final. A spouse says "I don't love you anymore" — at that time they may genuinely not feel love, but that feeling is not final. Love can be rekindled. A feeling that you can never succeed in a particular country or context is not final — success is not determined by how you feel about your circumstances.

4. Feelings Are Real But They Are Not Always Right

   Stop making your feeling your GPS. Feelings are great accelerators — they are not great navigators. They can propel you but they cannot give your life direction. You may feel strongly attracted to someone else's spouse — the feeling is real, but it is not right. You may feel entitled to steal to meet a need — the feeling is real, but it is not right. Don't be a slave to your feelings.

5. Let Your Feelings Propel You

   Feelings are the fuel meant to get you to where you are going. You have two options in life: you can go to work every day complaining, or you can go every day excited. Both get you to the same place, but going excited is better. Get to the point where you have developed emotions for what you do — it makes doing that thing better.

   David said: "Your word have I found and I did eat them, and they were the joy and the rejoicing of my soul." He got to a stage where he loved the word of God. He said: "I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the house of the Lord." You need to get to the stage where your emotions follow you into whatever you need to do — where you actually love to pray, love to read your Bible, love to come to church — not just because someone is watching, but because God's presence is real to you.