10 Things Killing Your Marriage Dreams As A Lady by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

10 Types of Sisters Experiencing Delay

If you are experiencing delay in getting married, make sure you are not one of the following:

1. The Spiritual Sister

   This sister is so spiritually oriented she is out of touch with reality. She needs to hear God before giving a guy her number. The Holy Spirit tells her about every man who is not the one — but never tells her about the one who is. Being spiritual is good. But Jesus attended weddings. He socialized. He went for dinners. Life has a social dimension, and someone with only spiritual language but no general conversational substance will bore people. If outside of church programs you have nothing to talk about, that can be a cause of delay.

2. The Selective Sister

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   This sister has a criteria list so long that no human being could meet it. One example: a lady with 92 items on her list was almost 40 and still single. The basics that matter: does this man love God — not emotionally, but demonstrably, through obedience? Does he love you — practically, visibly? As long as he is male, loves God, and loves you, the rest can be built. You cannot buy an SUV and a sports car in one vehicle. Stop combining mutually exclusive traits.

3. The Specific Sister

   Different from selective — this sister has precise specifications: he must be exactly 5'11", from a specific tribe, with a specific complexion, doing a specific profession. Good options get turned down because they do not match the mental picture. God sends many good options. Do not miss them because they are not the exact image you created.

4. The Saucy Sister

   Beautiful but with a dangerous character. Too aggressive, too rude, too forward — men can smell the attitude from a distance. They may be attracted but they will not stay. The Bible speaks about the contentious woman. Your character must be stronger than your charisma. Sauciness, if it is covering trauma, needs to be addressed — not managed.


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Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo
David's Christian Centre, Lagos (DCC).
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5. The Side Sister

   Born again, church-going, but dating a married or engaged man. She knows she is on the side and has made peace with it. The problems are layered: you are fighting against a covenant God honors, which means you cannot come out on top. You will lose naturally — he is not leaving his spouse. And you will lose spiritually — the person God assigned to connect you with is looking for someone who is truly available. Come out of that situation and be genuinely single.

   Also: even if you are physically single but emotionally occupied, you give off an energy of being taken. Single people will not be drawn to you because you are already spiritually and emotionally unavailable.

6. The Shy Sister

   So introverted she does not come out, does not socialize, does not post, does not encourage conversation. In a fast-paced world, hiding in a corner and expecting men to find you is not a strategy. The woman at the well — who had been married multiple times — knew how to carry a conversation. She engaged Jesus. Post your wholesome thoughts. Go to the events you are invited to. When someone smiles at you, smile back. When someone starts a conversation, build on it.

7. The Slow Sister

   Hates development. Low energy in every area — career, physique, mindset, ambition. She is not improving and not surrounding herself with people who will push her. There is nothing as unattractive as someone who is not growing — no job, no momentum, no trajectory. Pick up pace. Surround yourself with energetic people. Solomon said a beautiful face on an empty head is like a gold ring on a pig's nose.

8. The Sick Sister

   This one is often not her fault — she has not healed from trauma. Past abuse, broken family, painful history. Ladies tend to feel more deeply and carry emotional memory more vividly. An unhealed sister will attract people and then drive them away — seeing every man through the lens of what her father, brother, or ex did. Seek professional help. Find role-model couples. Be in communities where healing is available. You must be in the process of healing before you marry — not healed perfectly, but actively healing. A sick sister hurts people, not intentionally, but consistently.

9. The Seductive Sister

   Profile says: Jesus only daughter. Posts say: something else entirely. The men she attracts with her body are thinking of one thing — not marriage. Attention without conclusion. Many DMs, no proposals. Men who approach because of physical exposure are not thinking of her as a person to build with. Dress in alignment with who you say you are. You are drawing the wrong crowd and getting addicted to their attention.

10. The Socialite Sister

    Always at the party, always trending, rating herself by followers and likes. She has rated herself out of the market — no man in her age range can meet the standard she has set based on social media ideals. The donkey that carried Jesus into Jerusalem had a great day — but when Jesus dismounted, it was a donkey again. Do not compete with Christ for attention. Be humble enough to accept a basic date. Do not price yourself out of real life.

11. The Selfish Sister

    Very entitled. Everything must be done for her. She never initiates, never sacrifices, never gives. She enters relationships as a taker, not a giver. Every healthy relationship has both giving and taking from both sides. If they must always call you, you must always call them too. If they must meet your needs, you must meet theirs. Generosity of heart is not just nice — it is magnetic. Selfishness drives people away quietly and consistently.