Toxic Church by Apostle Emmanuel Iren: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

People who are trying to make you feel bad for following God have idols of their own

As long as you have checked yourself through the scrutiny of the Bible and what you are doing is not extreme, you have addressed the extremes.

Don't apologize for loving Jesus. Don't apologize for being generous to the cause of the gospel

More and more I realize how timely this teaching is.

It is one of the most important things to understand in this end time: the concept of the church and how God would have us play our part as responsible members

It is possible to do church without Jesus

There was a statement Jesus made that was actually a sub, and many never got it

Revelation 3:20

We use this in crusades: Jesus is standing at the door of your heart, open up and receive him.

The problem is Jesus wasn't talking to sinners. It was not an invitation to salvation. It was a letter to a church

Imagine Jesus saying: I hear music in there. You're having service, I was not aware. I'm knocking. Let me know if I'm invited. It is possible to be doing church and Jesus is outside

It is possible, especially in this day and age, to do church without God. To preach sermons without Jesus. To have programs and religious duties and calisthenics without Jesus

It is possible to have form without substance. It is possible, with the traditions of men, to constantly be an affront to the clear teachings of scripture

1 Corinthians 11:17

Paul is telling them that not only is your church service not beneficial, it doesn't even leave you neutral.

It makes you worse. You keep coming every Sunday but there is no transformation. Some people even get worse

The more some people learn doctrine, the more they become bullies, harassing everyone

I am a stickler for fidelity to the truth, but how you say it is as important as what you say

Romans 14:16, Ephesians 4:15

Some people hide under doctrinal fidelity to display narcissistic tendencies. The goal is not for you to know the truth. They want to embarrass you in public

I think it was Paul Washer who looked at a Christian and said, I prefer you when you were a sinner.

You were better behaved when you didn't have the Holy Ghost. It seems paradoxical but it is true that knowledge puffs up

1 Corinthians 8:1

Many people come to church and there is no incentive for character development, no indices of growth, no upward movement

The good Samaritan

Luke 10:30 to Luke 10:32

This reflects Jesus's impression of a lot of religious gatherings. Where did it happen? Somebody was journeying from Jerusalem to Jericho. This is Jewish territory

It is like somebody coming to church and his phone is stolen. There are thieves here too.

You must literally watch and pray. They will try to steal your phone, and your child if you are not careful

You are supposed to see the irony. Jesus told the story deliberately to put the irony before your face.

The man was very likely coming from the temple, having gone to sacrifice, and there he was robbed

The priests and the Levites walked past him bleeding and dying. If you read the story and don't see the irony, you've missed the point

When the sermon does nothing inside you, you leave with no determination to make any positive adjustment to your life. You come to tick the boxes

Many people's devotion starts and ends in church. They have not learned to shine as lights in the world. What do your colleagues at work think about you?

You cry heavily in church, then go and torment people on Monday. Some people have 55 prayer postures but borrow people money

Toxic church

Church that has lost its purpose. Church that has become abusive. Church that makes you lose your identity. You were better off until you began to attend

A cab driver once said: I was content until I started attending this church

I am not talking about a community that pushes you to be better. I am talking about a community that somehow fuels covetousness. And these things are subtle

When you don't have heavy donations, you are treated like trash in the house of God

Someone discovered that her staff had stolen 40 million in one year. Tracing the money, they saw heavy donations to church. Sometimes the staff would take things from her store and give to the pastor

There can be carnal incentives for giving in church

It is my humble opinion that a pastor can never know who the biggest giver is. You have to measure relative to what they had left. That is the widow's mite

Mark 12:41 to Mark 12:44

It doesn't matter how wealthy you are, there are some amounts you can only give if you truly love Jesus.

That is a fact. But when it comes to the top 10 or top 20, you can never know

Every pastor is free to appreciate. We should not take it to the extreme of not appreciating people at all

I was still an undergraduate. We had a program and a woman came. I told myself after the program I had to give this woman something. I wondered if she even eats

When we were checking the offering, we saw her earrings, plastic, faded, old. That was what she had. I have not recovered from that. It touched me deeply

The donations that rank high before God are not just about how large they are

It is about the heart with which it is given and the sacrifice: what is given relative to what was owned

All of this can become carnal incentives in church. You put up appearances, a fake life, so that you can be acknowledged in the house of God. This is what James was screaming about

James 2:1 to James 2:9

Church will never leave you the same

Nobody who is born again should be avoiding church

Hebrews 10:25

Church will never leave you the same. You are either better or worse. There is no middle ground

I have preached over the years the importance of finding a good church and belonging to it

But I cannot lie to you that I don't see the danger of falling into the hands of a wrong pastor

It is a serious thing to open your heart to somebody twice a week. It has serious implications on your mentality and your spirit. Not everybody should have that privilege

You must have the due diligence of the Berean church, to constantly check

Acts 17:11

Illustration: the husband

A husband started having problems with the doctrine of the church and stopped showing up.

The pastor told the wife, this man has turned away from the gospel, you know what to do. She was asked to leave him, and she did

Was he a good husband? Yes. A provider? Yes. Did he tick the boxes doctrinally? Yes. Were his doctrinal concerns addressed? No

Members abuse pastors too. A rich member joined a church and gradually exerted influence. She started employing the pastors, then employed everybody, then the lead pastor. The lead pastor now drives her around

When someone leading prayer doesn't please her, she shouts and calls them over. If you have given a loan they cannot repay yet, they must align.

If you don't like the sermon, you show it from your seat, and the pastor knows what to do

The red flags of abuse are inexhaustible. There can be such a subtle establishment of a culture of abuse that the people don't even know. It is the way they were taught

The common denominator is love

The presence or absence of love. There are things the Bible might not have specifically told you to do or not to do. You judge by love

1 Corinthians 13:1 to 1 Corinthians 13:3

You can have all the religious calisthenics, go through the motions of spirituality without love. You can be generous, even give your body to be burned, and have not love

You can see people sacrificing for ministry, even themselves, and the motive is wrong. It is very hard to spot when the tongues are right, the generosity is right and the efforts are right

Illustration: the mentor

For many it started in school. You have a mentor out of spiritual respect. Once in a while you buy food for him, wash for him.

You get so used to being served you don't ask how is your academics. All this time you spend with me, do you read your book?

All this time you spend in church, how is your marriage? You can get so used to it

I told a man I respected that I was sorry I had not been able to buy his food. He said, I don't need you for anything. You need me for everything

Later academic pressure meant I could not come for the church conferences, and the man was upset. When I went to apologize, he said, your mentor is a tormentor. Abuse always has punchlines

Church members also abuse the church. Members who manipulate church systems to get money out of it, gaslight. I need a whole series for that

I am talking about all of us. This is family talk

Red flags to watch out for

1 Peter 5:2 to 1 Peter 5:3

Red flag: extreme control

One of the red flags to watch out for is extreme control

Your pastors are supposed to watch for your souls doctrinally

But when they want to tell you how to run your business and your home, a line is being crossed, and many people don't know it

A pastor and his wife told a mentor in passing that they were going on vacation next week. He said, no

Usually one of the spouses' eyes will open first. It is worse when it is the woman who is brainwashed. I don't blame some of those people because that is how they learned

In the university a spiritual leader, full of the Spirit then, pointed at some ladies and told me to pick one as my wife.

I had not seen any of them before that day. Every time I tried to explain, it was as if I was quenching the Spirit

In that period they appointed one to be my wife

Please don't get me wrong, don't stigmatize people. People who have been delivered are even better

Why do you think choosing a wife for somebody is part of discipleship? Not by compulsion, but willingly

I cannot choose for you, but I can tell you not to choose. I can tell you what you are doing.

If you don't agree, I will come. I am your pastor. If I am free, I can even join you

Secretly, even at the wedding, we know the one that will not work. At counseling it is part of professional ethics to act surprised.

I will advise so it does not start on a wrong foundation

Amos 3:3

I vowed to the Lord, except we are not close, except it is none of my business, except I don't have that privilege of access

If I think you are making a mistake, I will tell you so it is now up to you

In Canada a man met me crying: thank you sir, you didn't allow me to marry that girl

There are control freaks. A pastor entered a couple's bedroom and said, I heard you are not having sex

Control over your finances

Some churches have an embargo on your financial life. It is an unspoken rule: you cannot drive a bigger car than the pastor, you cannot use a better phone

Any dedication becomes interrogation. Anything you come to dedicate, congrats. So when is my own? Some will take control of your life. They will drive your car and live in your house

Being sacrificial is one of the marks of our kingdom. But when it becomes entitlement, and they are annoyed when you can't, the Bible warns against it

2 Corinthians 1:24

You can hear the humility in Paul's voice. All spiritual authority must be understood in context.

There is a context in which I am your spiritual father. There is a context in which I am your brother. We have like precious faith

Ezekiel 34:4

They will use authority to micromanage and emasculate you

Every healthy church is a sending church. Any church that is only happy when you gather is after your life

Ephesians 4:11 to Ephesians 4:12

It is equipping for the work of ministry. 99.5 percent of people who come are not going to serve with me, and that is okay.

You are supposed to shine the light in your various spheres of influence

So the moment you are failing your exams, why? Because you joined the ministry. Not doing well financially, why? Because you joined the ministry

There is a member of this church. I called him: do you have a house? He said no. This is the second 40 million gift this year, not to me but to the church

I said, until you build a house I will not collect any gifts from you again. It is irresponsible

I first said this far back in 2013, to a lady. I asked, do you have savings?

People who are zealous for the Lord are hard to convince. She said, it is between me and God, I just want to give

The way to persuade her was this: we want you to keep giving, that is why we want you to have investments and other things so that you can keep giving

Be sacrificial, but be sensible. Don't let your children hate us. Don't let us be the reason they don't have school fees

Red flag: a pastor who never calls you out

Jeremiah 6:13 to Jeremiah 6:14

One of the red flags is to have a pastor who doesn't call you out on your nonsense

There is so much error in your life, God is about to punish you, and he is looking away. He is saying peace. Trouble is coming

2 Timothy 4:3

Now this is the opposite. A lot of people are quick to identify churches they say are control freaks, because a lot of people don't even know who a pastor is anymore

Many people want to be treated like a customer and do whatever they like.

If we talk about your dressing, it is control. If we advise on the way you live your life, it is control

These things can put even the pastor in trouble. You will like the sermon when it plays to your strength

Lamentations 2:14

I have seen prophets go blind. There is a way you give a prophet money and he starts to see the things you want him to see

Your son wants to get married and you ask the prophet.

He already knows the girl is from a poor family, so he finds a way to tell you stylishly that the answer is no. He has told you what to see

It takes a lot of spine and nerve to tell people, this is not the right thing to do. Some enjoy church with zero accountability. They want to keep their anonymity.

Some avoid any form of interaction. Some even complain that we ask people to say to their neighbor, you are blessed, you are welcome

You don't want to talk to anybody. You want to be the only child of God. That is also wrong

The other extreme: shame for loving Jesus

It is true that some take leadership to the extreme and membership to the extreme. There is another extreme people don't recognize

I am exposing you to a kind of discernment, a pattern people out there have that you won't spot if you are not careful

1 Peter 4:4

They think it strange that you don't share their ungodly propensities. They speak evil against you because your very existence convicts them

Subconsciously they shame you for the very things they do in their own contexts

If you enter a man's house and see his pastor's picture big, I would think it weird. But if you enter a bachelor's bedroom and see a CR7 picture, is it weird?

If church members wear a particular t-shirt, people look at you narrowly. If you and your friends buy a jersey, that is fine

In the UK I drove past a stadium. The teams are named after regions, so it is a different kind of allegiance

Some go before the season and buy tickets for the whole season. The same people can have a problem with you giving to church

Every human being will choose his idols. If you don't serve God, you will serve something

When they shame you for choosing to honor God, you will not see that they have things of their own

A grown man with a beard, crying at a Beyonce concert. But crying in church is a problem

It is foolishness to be shameful of what is gainful

The cross and the name Christian

I was reading John Stott's book The Cross of Christ. Even some of our songs identify the cross as an emblem of suffering and shame. That is what it was

The cross existed as an execution strategy to reduce the momentum of Christianity.

Now we make neck pieces out of it and wear it. What they try to shame you about, you embrace with your full chest

Christian was a derogatory term. Followers of Christ were called believers, people of the way

It was unbelievers who came up with the term Christian, and we embraced it with our full chest

Romans 1:16

In case that text never made sense to you, it should make sense now

There is something about the modus operandi of the church that will be strange to unbelievers. As long as it is biblical, strange is okay.

Are there extremes? Yes. You must be discerning enough to pick the extremes when it gets too far

Someone says, I tried that church, they pray too much. Imagine we reduce prayer because of you. God forbid. Or someone says the sermon is long

Read these from a 2026 mindset, as an outsider, and see if they make sense from a secular standpoint

Acts 2:42 to Acts 2:45

If you love Jesus and you love the brethren, you go the extra mile, not just for the pastor but for the brethren.

The church had bought a car gift for somebody

Unknown to me, members also pooled money and bought a car gift for another person, and asked me to present it. I was so touched. This is the biblical standard

Even biblical standards will seem strange to people outside. There is something Paul calls the offense of the cross. The moment you choose the way of the cross, you are already an offense

Galatians 5:11

Carry it. Wear the crucifix on your chain. There are some insults that should never get to you

Ananias and Sapphira did not give as much as they said they were giving, and they died in church Acts 5:1 to Acts 5:10

Jesus told the rich young ruler to sell all he has and give alms Matthew 19:21, Mark 10:21, Luke 18:22

The discipline given to the man in sexual immorality: deliver him to Satan 1 Corinthians 5:5

1 Thessalonians 5:12 to 1 Thessalonians 5:13

This is another one that doesn't seem so common, or seems out of fashion

There is a Yoruba tale, I can't remember exactly how it went, of a famine in which every animal agreed to eat their parents. I suspect it was the tortoise who hid his own

Everyone forcing iconoclastic ideas on you has their own heroes. When they have destroyed all your icons, their own will be left behind

Do church the Bible way

Should the church be open to scrutiny and criticism? Yes, if it is fair

It cannot only be your gathering that is hindering national progress

Part of being a member of the body of Christ is doing church the Bible way. There is no safe way to do church. That is why you have to pick the right church

There is no safe way to love either. You can only love by surrendering yourself to the likelihood of being taken for granted. If you keep too many walls, it will not work

Some people in church will upset you. Sometimes even I will. Am I Jesus? If I am wrong, I will take correction and move on.

But anybody who casts down the idea of church altogether is not looking out for you

Don't go to the other extreme and present yourself as somebody no one can talk to. It is not a flex that nobody can advise you

There is a healthy way to do these things under the ambits of the scripture

• Father, in the name of Jesus, we thank you. We are doers of your word, not hearers alone
• Let the light of the gospel shine not only in our gatherings but in our different spheres of influence
• You have made us ambassadors for Christ, effective in our ministries. This is a sending church, we are here to be trained and equipped for ministry
• Help us recognize our offices as pulpits, our neighborhoods as pulpits, our families as pulpits, so that everyone who comes in contact with us will be influenced by the ideas of the kingdom
• Thank you Father. In Jesus' mighty matchless name we have prayed

James 1:22, 2 Corinthians 5:20