Breaking Free From Self-sabotage Part 1 by Pastor Dolapo Lawal: MP3 Download & Sermon Notes

Hebrews 12:1

The text speaks of both sin and weight — two distinct categories. Sin (hamatia in the Greek) means offense — actions, attitudes or behaviors that violate God's law or word. Sin exists in three contexts:

• Sin as a place — "How shall we continue in sin?" — referring to existence outside of Christ
• Sin as a position — "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God"
• Sin as an act — specific violations such as lying, unforgiveness, sexual immorality, pride

Christ died for the sins of the whole world, meaning everyone died with him. But resurrection is by the Holy Spirit. When the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in a person, he quickens the mortal body and joins that person to Christ through the Church. To be dead in sin is to be without the Holy Spirit. To be dead to sin is to have received the Holy Spirit and entered newness of life.

Weights (ogkos in the Greek) are different. The word means a mass — a burden or hindrance. These are things not sinful in themselves but that slow a person down. A weight is anything that:

• Distracts spiritually
• Drains passion for God
• Keeps one from doing what God said to do passionately
• Acts as an obstacle in the walk with God

Examples include obsession with the phone, unhealthy friendships, overcommitments, hobbies or habits that consume focus — and self-sabotage.

What Is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is when a man becomes the enemy of his own destiny.

It is when the hand that is meant to build begins to tear down. It is when a person uses their own choices, appetites, fears, or pride to limit what God has written concerning them.

It is not the devil outside. It is the weakness inside that frustrates grace.

There are some things a person may be doing that are actively spoiling what God has promised. Everything is not the devil. There is a way of running life that makes intervention unnecessary — what the Bible calls strongholds.

A stronghold is not what an enemy builds. When a king goes to war, the first thing he builds is a stronghold — a castle with a tunnel to escape. A stronghold is designed by the owner of the house; it is a place that keeps out intruders. When the Bible speaks of bringing down strongholds and imaginations, it is saying: there are patterns of thinking that hide a person from heaven. God wants to reach them, but they have strongholds.

Self-Sabotage According to Calling

Every ministry office carries a unique burden, and with it, a unique vulnerability. Understanding these vulnerabilities is how one guards against self-sabotage.

1. The Prophet

   The prophet carries revelation and burden. He feels what God feels, often before others do. Because of this weight, prophets can struggle with anger, impatience, and harshness. Many prophets speak from a high altitude, forgetting they are talking to people on the ground. When people cannot receive the message because of how it is delivered, the anointing becomes the source of frustration. Jonah 4:1

2. The Pastor or Counsellor

   Pastors and counsellors carry people. They listen to pain, trauma, and brokenness daily. When that weight is not released to God, it shows up as mood swings, emotional fatigue, withdrawal, or silent resentment. There is a difference between bearing someone's burden financially — as Galatians 6:2 actually describes — and absorbing someone's emotional pain. The man of many sorrows is Jesus. That burden belongs to him. Cast the care upon the one who can carry it.

3. The Teacher

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   Pastor Dolapo Lawal

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   Teachers carry light, clarity, revelation, and precision. The danger is pride and condescension — talking down to people because of knowledge. The Bible says knowledge puffs up. Once a person becomes critical of other people's doctrine, that is where ministry ends, because God cannot send anyone to people they do not like.

   Jesus knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead. When he arrived, he still wept first. That was sympathy — an acknowledgment that death was never supposed to exist. Only after expressing compassion did he exact divinity and call Lazarus out of the grave. Before power, compassion.

   Jesus himself said, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death." That is not a statement to be corrected or explained away.

4. The Apostle or Leader

   Apostles carry vision, structure, and responsibility for growth. The weakness is control, manipulation, impatience, and domination.

   We are called to dominate systems, not people.

   God created man, gave him a will, presented life and death, and advised him to choose life. That is how God leads — not by control. A person can become so fixated on a vision that they don't mind how they get there. The sad reality is that arriving at a destination stained with blood makes the throne feel empty.

5. The Evangelist

   Evangelists carry urgency for souls. Their weakness is exaggeration, manipulation, or burnout — because everything feels like an emergency. They have zeal, but not always according to knowledge. Romans 10:1

6. The Intercessor

   Intercessors carry spiritual warfare and sensitivity. Their weaknesses include heaviness, isolation, and suspicion — mistaking suspicion for discernment. They also struggle with gossip. Once someone begins praying for people, God shows pictures — but the enemy also gives pictures. That is why gossip finds its way to intercessors. Just as God gives the word of knowledge, the devil gives word from knowledge — information gathered from people, then spiritualized. An intercessor who is not careful about friendships is in serious danger.

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   The Worship Leader

   Worship leaders carry intimacy and spiritual expression. Their weaknesses can include emotional instability, people-pleasing, identity confusion, and an unhealthy need for validation.

8. Those with the Helps Ministry

   Administrators and those in the helps ministry — drawn from 1 Corinthians 12 — carry order and excellence. Their weakness is being judgmental and resisting the move of the Spirit when it falls outside the program.

Biblical Examples of Self-Sabotage

Esau — In Hebrews 12, he is called a profane man — someone who sees no value in God. He looked at his birthright and looked at a bowl of porridge, and chose the porridge. What he forfeited was the capacity to be in the lineage through which God would come into the world. A profane man is not someone who blasphemes loudly; it is someone who cannot discern the value of what is in front of them.

David — His love for women created dysfunction in his home.

Samson — His love for foreign women destroyed his destiny. Delilah was not an accident; she was his third such relationship. That pattern was a choice.

Samson also struggled with oversharing. There is a difference between being vulnerable and oversharing. Some people will bait others by offering irrelevant personal information, then wait to collect what is shared in return. Delilah was someone he liked — that is exactly where the trap was laid. People only overshare with those they trust. And that trust, misplaced, becomes the very instrument of their downfall.

Judas — Revelation 21:14 speaks of the twelve foundations of the wall of the holy city, each bearing the name of one of the twelve apostles. What Judas sold when he betrayed Jesus was his capacity to be an eternal foundation — a name written in heaven. He had a street in his name, and he helped erase it. He had been stealing from the offering before the betrayal — the pattern was already in place.

How Self-Sabotaging Behaviors Look Today

• Talking too much — Value is in scarcity. Sand is important, but it is everywhere. Gold is rare. Words carry weight only when they are not scattered everywhere. Someone who talks too much progressively loses the ability to captivate — the same person who impressed at the start of a conversation exhausts people before it ends.

• People-pleasing — The root is a need for validation and belonging — the "pick me" syndrome. Doing things to buy favor, relegating personal value in exchange for inclusion. The bitter fruit of this pattern is that even when the relationship is something God intended, the accumulated hurts and unmet expectations cause behavior that destroys it.

• Self-demeaning language — Talking down about oneself in the name of humility. Pride is not the overestimation of oneself — it is the wrong estimation of oneself. To estimate below what God says is also pride. If God calls a person righteous and they deny it, that is disagreeing with God.

• Disinterest quickly — Losing interest in things rapidly, being unable to stay consistent. Starting well but zoning out before anything matures.

• Lack of resilience — Quitting when things become difficult. Particularly: resigning from a position because of offense or difficulty. Ecclesiastes 10:4 — "If the spirit of the ruler rises against you, do not leave your post, for yielding pacifies great offenses." When a person leaves their post, an exchange happens — someone beneath them takes the position. Verse five shows that this is the evil: princes walk on foot while servants ride. The gap between where a person is and promotion is sometimes as small as saying good morning consistently. Wisdom does what works, not what feels principled.

Solomon, for all his wisdom, does not appear in Hebrews 11. Rahab is there. The measure of greatness in God's record is not intelligence or wealth — it is faithfulness.