Opening Destiny doors through relationships
By Apostle Joshua Selman

when you carry the luggages of hate and bitterness you are affecting your own life too yes.

carrying offense and and unforgiveness is like swallowing poison and expecting another person to die.

if you don't practice tolerance you will hurt yourself many times because even the best of people who will come to your life will have their limitations. it is a reality with all men. looking for Perfection is a waste of time you will never find it.

have you seen someone try to kill a mosquito that is around your face.

you may miss the mosquito but one thing you will never miss is a slap on your face and then the mosquito comes again. look for an effective way to kill it you keep.

at the end of it 10 slaps and yet the mosquito is not dead, that's what many people are doing to their souls. set yourself free today, in the name of Jesus Christ. my brother did this my mother did this. indeed this set yourself free. it's a revelation of a superior way of living a superior way of living.

you want to maintain relationships, you must practice forgiveness and tolerance.

Number four.

be an active contributor to the growth of the relationship. Any kind of relationship.

I spoke about Valentine and some of you think I'm against it I'm not against you to go on with your plan as planned, provided you are doing what you are doing in wisdom. minus God, minus wisdom don't do it.

be an active contributor to the growth of the relationship.

relationships do not build themselves they are built by the parties involved. this is true for married couples this is true for business relationships this is true for parents and children. anybody who does not become an active contributor there there's there's what they call parasitic relationships. there are people who don't bring anything at all. relationships must be a healthy balance between expectations and contributions. when your expectation in a relationship far outweighs your contribution you are a selfish person. when your contribution finds outweighs your expectation somebody is being unfair on you, there must be a healthy balance. you cannot contribute 1000 naira worth of contribution and expect one million naira worth of expectation, that is fraud.

it's like giving the bank one thousand naira and expecting 10 million tomorrow, it doesn't work that way, unfortunately there are people that's how their relationships are. you never can trace the benefit that they bring into the system. if they are workers in church they will never pay anybody's transport even as a seed, they don't have anybody's birthday in mind, including their family members, they forget everything and the only thing they remember is their needs.

who have something to say? "me, well I just want you to know that things are not really all right for me right now and I will appreciate whatever it is that anybody can do because I know that God uses men"

have you seen people like that the entire conversation is about them.

and I love you with all my heart everybody but particularly let me speak to you our dear sisters in the Lord in the name of Jesus let me give you counsel. I don't talk so much about this but let me give you an honest counsel. throw away some of these garbages that come in from misguided maybe in social media or whatever. Edit the things that you learn. the moment you are in any kind of relationship that makes it all about you, you're already in trouble. not even our relationship with God is all about him. when we tell him God take everything he says no I'm not so selfish I will make sure that I attend to you also.

Don't carry that narrative that is all about you. you find this happen all around, and people refuse to be active contributors. so we have business partners one is just there like a parasite are you awake now may God bless you God will help you for us eh in Jesus name.

where you do not have any definite value to offer, let your value be gratitude.

where you do not have anything definite to offer make sure you keep showering that relationship with a lavish expression of gratitude. You are a man and you are not doing anything and your wife is working bringing you money all the time and having the unshamedness to look like a fool before you.

my husband, I'm submitting to you including this money children's school fees she's paid it, house rent she's paid it, and you say thanks no that's not wisdom.

don't be offended, I'm saying this because I love you. gratitude is a big contribution in any relationship gratitude can equalize even what your value cannot bring.

"I'm not able to do this but I'm really grateful I wouldn't have had the money to buy the fuel but thank you for stepping in, I really want you to know that I am I am thoughtful and thankful for what you have done."

I think there there is um um I think it's Yoruba people that do it that they think twice they do that one in the night and then by the next day they do it again, very healthy practice.

do it three times in fact. in this in this world you want people to Remember You.

I hope, man of God someone gives you a hundred million naira as a seed in Ministry and you have access to know the person it's not to worship people but don't say I don't care. God provides it no don't speak like that you will be poor and you will struggle in Ministry it's a very honest advice learn to appreciate people sincerely.

your wife treats you well tell her thank you don't say I paid your dowry already, no, don't act like that, you're a child of God.

No matter how wealthy you are train your children to say thank you, this entitlement mentality that is destroying Africa. they pay their school fees they do whatever, teach them to say thank you.

Say thank you to God and thank you to men.

there are times you can just pick up your phone and begin to thank the people who have contributed greatly or significantly in your life. the corporate organizations understand this this is why they keep excelling, we in the church are masters of taking people for granted. pastors I say disrespectfully speaking when God gives you members and workers who love you and Labor Day and Night seeing that the work is Advanced don't take them for granted, find every means within your power to say thank you and repeat it again. And for Koinonia workers thank you.

thank you and I really mean what I'm saying, thank you, our Global family thank you, for all of you who are here thank you. If you are not here whether I am anointed or not that's not the issue.

It is one thing to be valuable but it's another thing for people to believe in you enough to invest their credibility their attention their resources their loyalty, do not take them for granted. Is someone learning?.

if somebody paints this kind of picture for you will you under normal circumstances run away from that person, no!.

my husband doesn't love me, if it's an attack that's all right there's a miracle service coming but under normal. under listen listen under normal circumstances find out what is making your husband run away from you. you can't come and yell from morning till night shouting, calling the man's name remembering, "in 1999 it was 12 noon, you were wearing white I remember plus a dark shirt you.." and the man has returned tired, he will go out of the house and go and sleep in the office. "I knew you were going to go out come back you will see meet me here".

and for men let's tame our arrogance and say thank you and be there. sometimes all these big manism for nothing once you cannot help yourself and people do for you what you cannot do for yourself be humble enough to acknowledge people, it does not take anything out of you.

there are men who would rather say how are you I hope you are fine your dress is nice than to say thank you, just say thank you.

so you must be an active contributor to every relationship. some of you right now let me tell you this after service practice what you just learned now, think of people who have significantly contributed to your life including your boss that you may say you don't like. "I just want to appreciate you so I've learned something I came to church and I was greatly inspired transformation is happening and I've decided to respond just to tell you I'm grateful" let me tell you what to expect most of them will not reply that does not mean the effect was not created. I'm giving you a teaser so you don't frown and say you see. that's how it works they will not reply but the effect has been created.

the Day promotion will come that's when you know that text added up to your Rising.

there are many people who are grounded today because of ignorance become an active contributor.

someone helps you gives you say a loan of one million naira and you rise and now you're a big man and then you are going to his house and you buy orange of 100 naira, let's be be honest. you carry 100 naira already that you bought just at a junction near his house, the bag is even torn and you tie here tie it there and you just say "sorry oh, " no..

Politicians understand this no non-christians understand this they are masters of investing into strategic relationships but church people because of the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Advantages like favor these things are investment, start making your investment now. after service don't match people and push people and run around.

You don't know that the person you just push is the doctor that will treat your child if he has malaria. no, treat people with honor and with dignity don't look at someone say he came for koinonia is looking like he's dressed in rags, he may be wearing rags but something is happening to his mind. And tomorrow when you see the same son of man in power and Glory, you will bite your finger in regret.

is someone learning?

never be part of any kind of relationship where it is all about giving to you and you are not an active contributor. it doesn't have to be money, give love and support, if someone decides to invest into your life your children. "I just called to say um honorable just to greet you and to ask how you are doing, I hope everything is fine, my prayers and my blessings are with you in Jesus name." you may have scheduled the season of continuous favor.

There are many people the day you get a text from them is because another request is coming, "Calvary greetings just to let you know that I am still here", two minutes later, they just say "sorry just to let you know the one million again, the rent the way you" no, you don't act like that don't give people memories of pain when they think about you.

if you are learning shout amen.

So my dear brother and my dear sister this may be one of the reasons why people run away from you. it may also be the reason why no kind of relationship seems to work for you, because you are always thinking about what people will give to you. or you have very little value and contribution but you have unreasonably High expectation, believing that everybody will come and give you heaven and earth, it doesn't work that way.

you must become an active contributor to the growth of that relationship your time your resources, any kind of Leverage you can provide under God.

let me give you the last key, Master kindness and hospitality you want to maintain valuable relationships that translate to open doors. as simple as these sounds you will be surprised how many people may not be able to make progress.

Master kindness! what is kindness?

The quality of being friendly generous and considerate, that's what we call kindness. And then Master Hospitality, hospitality is not about cooking food, hospitality is built upon an intrinsic desire to see people happy and welcomed.

Kindness is the quality of being friendly the quality of being generous and the quality of being considerate.

and then to be hospitable means intrinsically you desire to see people happy, you desire to see people welcomed. I give you a guarantee under God you cannot surround yourself with this kind of spiritual and psychological energy, and have people run away from you.

it will not happen under normal circumstances, many of us are not kind, many of us are not hospitable.

Master kindness to your wife, to your husband, to your children to your superiors to your contemporaries, to your subordinates, master kindness.

"Apostle, in our family we don't really give, " that's all right, learn, you can learn from today this night, Learn.

Master kindness!

Say: "in the name of Jesus, " say it as a cconfession.

"in the name of Jesus, I declare that kindness begins to walk in my life."

Say it again, "in the name of Jesus, I declare that kindness begins to work in my life!"

to be kind means to be friendly, people should not look at you and say "good afternoon, " and you look at them, you size them from head to toe.

who is your father? who is your mother what are you wearing? what kind of designer? just go!

Don't do that don't do that

don't do that!

Be kind to people.

Let me tell you something, in my life some of the the great helpers in my life have been some of the most unassuming people. based on the physical Persona if you were to select people you will not go close to those people yet they have profound and tremendous influence. And by that that discernment and to be able to communicate honor it provided a leverage that myself and even this ministry is still benefiting from today.

don't look down on people because of financial status because of educational whatever you may have people that are that match your pedigree to deal with, I understand that.

but make sure that you are kind to everybody.

God has granted you a car I know you are driving a car of 100 million naira, don't hit the guy walking on the road just because you are moving because one day you will buy a car in his company.

Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen when you are starting out in life, live your life with honor and dignity provided you are walking the path of righteousness and integrity. there should be no shame don't fake your life, no. one shirt that you have wear it with honor.

Anybody that wants you to wear a designer cloth before they respect you does not deserve to be your friend. their leaving you is God ordained to give you peace, because you already see that that pathway will lead to destruction.

it is selfishness personified.

practice kindness.

I pray even for myself every time that Beyond being an anointed man of God, Beyond being someone who God has trusted with Revelation and Leadership, that at a nuclear level that that character of kindness are and Hospitality will come from me, not because I'm a preacher. It is a beautiful way to live.

many of you are not kind you've not done anything to anybody there are clothes in your house today that are spoiling, you have outgrown them you will never use them yet you will not give it, the pain of giving out new clothes that's what is paining you you rather keep it there than to give it to someone, no.

go back home after this meeting go and sort the clothes in your wardrobe.

"Apostle they are too expensive!"

really? for who now? the people Jesus died for?

I'm giving you an assignment, and for those who are following, our Global family decongest your life from a lot of things, start with your clothes go and give somebody.

take 10 000 naira and say look that woman that is always sitting at the side I'm always seeing her children jumping, every time they see me they say good afternoon mommy those children have been calling you mommy for one year you've never done anything that that justifies being called Mommy, do it after this service. give them something, say look "children how much is their school fees?" ten thousand. Okay I can only do two, take.

Even if it's one time.

There can never be kindness without giving.

some of you Valentine right now your spouse or your friend has bought all kinds of gifts and you don't plan to do anything.

all you plan to do is let me pray for you let me tell you.

if you are in this house nobody should buy you any gift or anything and then you give them prayer but you are selfish.

people should not go out of their way to show you love and care and then you throw it away, it shouldn't be.

Some of you have never blessed any man of God that God used to bless your life, you are not kind at all.

you receive, you grow, you increase. I'm not asking you to give me money, you know that, but I'm saying it is a practice in your heart.

never be part of any Ministry any church, any man of God, any organization where you are consistently being blessed and lifted and you don't take it as a responsibility to contribute. if you cannot give money, give prayers if you cannot give prayers, sow the seed of gratitude.

Some of you may need to do this to your parents.

Did you know that there are many wealthy people around who are millionaires and billionaires and sometimes you see their parents and their conditions back home maybe in the village and it's pathetic.

Let people Rejoice because you are alive, let people not pray for God to drive you out of their lives.

say "I am a blessing"

so whatever you need to correct, correct. If it's an attitude problem corrected.

you are sarcastic you hate on people you misbehave, correct it!

"okay Apostle we are like that in our family, " I understand we don't judge you but this is where the power of the world comes.

if you do not rise above culture you may never Prevail in certain dimensions. you have to exalt the word of God Beyond some of these cultural things. love the word of God and Rise beyond the grip of culture and the limitations that they bring to your mind.

God cannot trust you with the Destinies of men at a global scale, when you are limited in understanding and surrounded with all kinds of prejudices and biases. it doesn't work that way.

God gave you five children, three are your biological children and two may not be your biological children. maybe I may not say "treat everybody the same" but at least let the two be able to feel the love of genuine parents don't humiliate them simply because your parents are dead, no.

I made up my mind that everybody under my watch by the grace of God will feel the love of a father without prejudice.

At the end of your life it's not how many things you have acquired that matters. Is who was able to know the Lord because of you? who was able to smile and find Hope.

My dear sister you cannot become this kind of person and not have one person in your life who loves you enough to be around you.

my dear brother you cannot become this kind of person I have described and not have one person who believes in you enough willing to invest their lives.

I ask this question again as we finish up this second phase "who in your life today man of God woman of God businessman my dear sister my dear brother who in your life today have you chosen to invest your time your resources your credibility as a sincere way of contributing into relationships?"

the moment you find out that you are a parasite only receiving from people change because very soon you will find out that you are alone, no human being survives an atmosphere with that level of pungency, people want to know that you are an active contributor.

husband and wife children to their parents parents to their children men of God to members members to Men of God businessmen CEOs to your your staff staff to CEOs, all kinds and all caders make sure that you become active contributors and your relationship will become magnetic. Your personal will be so inviting even if people have nothing to tell you they want to be around you because you become the closest expression of Jesus Christ.

Let me touch on the last Dimension are you ready for it.

so we spoke about your relationship with God, number two your relationship with men, and I spent a bit of time just stressing on a few things that will help us have effective relationships.

number three and that will be the final consideration for tonight, your relationship with things.

your relationship with God number one, your relationship with men number two, and then the last dimension of relationship this is very important your relationship with things.

let's consider a few scriptures very quickly and then we will pray 1 Timothy chapter 6 vs 17.

many of you do not know that there is a way to relate with things. you can relate with things wrongly the same way you relate with God wrongly, you relate with men wrongly, You can relate with things things wrongly. Things there mean all kinds of material possessions.

there is an art, there is a technology to relating with things, in a way that it benefits you and does not leave you miserable.

"charge them that they may not be high-minded, " are you seeing the side effect of wealth and riches? "nor trust in uncertain riches but in the Living God who gives us richly all things to enjoy!"

that is already a beautiful scripture so we are not in confusion as to the fact that God gives us all things to enjoy.

Verse 18. "That they do good, that they use the things that have been given to them to do good and they be rich in Good Works ready to distribute, willing to communicate.

19. "Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, " make reference to my teaching the law of Seasons. "that they may lay hold on eternal life.

20. it says "Timothy keep that which is committed to that trust avoiding profane and vein bubblings and oppositions of science falsely so-called.

The last verse 21. it says "which some professing have heard concerning the faith Grace be with you amen"

he's teaching his son in the gospel Timothy how to deal with things. he's saying the moment you begin to have access to things, influence, material riches there are certain things that begin to happen to you. and if you do not know how a spiritual man relates to material things, it can tear you into pieces that at the end of your life, like Judas the money that you have will not bless you, you will lose the money lose your relationship with Jesus, and even lose your life.

1 John chapter 2 vs 15 and 16, "love not the world, " the word "love" here is the Greek word "Eros" - lust an ungodly Affinity. "Love not the world neither the things that are in the world, " that means he's not saying don't have cars and houses and things that make your life comfortable, the word love there means do not develop an ungodly Affinity. an affinity that you can kill for money, you can kill for things it does not matter.

"If any man loved the world, " in that similitude, "the love of the father is not in him"

verse 16. "For all that is in the world the loss of the flesh, the last of the eyes the pride of life is not of the father but is of the world.

Something begins to happen to men when they start succeeding, I can tell you that. It is easier to become successful than to remain successful. The Dynamics of managing things is such that if God does not help you, you will lose your life, your character your integrity, everything that makes you you intrinsically, you can lose it in the presence of plenty.

the misbehavior of the people in Jesus's Crusade came after the Earth bread. when they were hungry they behaved themselves, they said let them sit down, they all sat down. the moment they ate and they were full, they scattered bread all around the Crusade ground and left, when they gathered it. It was 12 baskets full.

something happens to men in the midst of plenty.

I understand your correct Behavior right now because you're probably owing or there's something happening, but when you get to a point where you have plenty, you are not limited by anything, that is when you see the potential that is in the hearts of men. Pride, a Hauty spirit and so on and so forth.

Let me teach you something,

**the secret to managing things is to never exalt them above Jesus.

number two, understand that every blessing that God gives you, is for your comfort, for the revelation of Jesus and to help you become a blessing to humanity.

never exalt any material thing above Jesus!

Don't have a garage for your car, a safe for your jewelries and yet not have a place to meet with God.

I'm not teaching you to be careless with things, but as God blesses you like he has done for many of us, and he is doing for many. The implication of open doors is that among the many blessings that come to you is "plenty."

For a man of God here maybe you are at a prophetic point in your ministry right now where God is about to expand you and increase you. with increase calms the burden of management and correct relationship.

You can relate wrongly with things by making them God in your life, that was a mistake of the rich fool, he made money his God.

there are people money is their God today, there are people certificates is their God, there are people their pedigree, and whatever it is is their God.

some of the greatest people I've met in my life, are people who are extremely humble, Godly, very honoring in the midst of plenty.

it is my prayer even for myself that as God continues to help me and show me his Mercy, that all these things that distract people and produce Pride, "great man of God", "great this" that those things will be far from the corridors of my life, say amen for me, and I pray the same prayer for you too sincerely.

Many of you here have been blessed by God at different levels, some of you have been extremely blessed to the glory of God, all together we owe ourselves a responsibility. you are a man of God, you are a businessman, you're a millionaire, you're a billionaire, you are watching from across the globe an owner of conglomerates, thank God for your achievements, we do not downplay it, but let me tell you there is a healthy way we relate with things. the believer in Christ has Rules of Engagement, you don't engage with things as though they are your life.

"my money!" that is the language of an unbeliever.

"my house, my car, my business, I am a millionaire, I'm a billionaire."

not just as a confession of the word, but just to rub it into people, and you demand all kinds of human worship because of it. you are relating wrongly.

If you are blessed, you are blessed, you don't have to rub it on the faces of people. most of the people who do that are just at their infancy into the wealthy place I can tell you. people who are established, you know it by the character of stability; they use other more Superior parameters to command respect, not resources..

It is my prayer, I'm saying it again and I'm praying for everybody here sincerely, some of us may need to tame our pride and our attitude towards things. your life, your relationship with God changed, many things went wrong in your life when the blessing began to come.

you see one of the ways that you manage things is to remember where he took you from.

always remember! thou shall remember!.

Koinonia we are wrapping up, do not forget this!

man of God thou shall remember, I still remember the days of infancy of this ministry. absolutely nothing! blind trust in Jesus, and that was it.

I remember one of the major Financial blessings that came to this ministry that time was 20, 000, a lady gave so that we will buy mat instead of sitting on the ground.

Do not forget where God took you from. "Apostle I'm a billionaire!" you are not the first and you will not be the last, and don't be part of the many lessons that that others are learning from negatively.

if God has blessed you and he has helped you enjoy the blessings of God but let your heart and your mind be on Jesus.